HATE!

Guess I found freedom at last…
To be my self again that I have asked
I think I have relived my self from a certain burden
That shouldn’t be there from the very start

You just made my life complicated that it really sucks
I was the FOOL! Right…. And I played that part too long
And now you left me and gave me freedom
I would not try to chase you anymore!

This now I swore that never you will ever be
In my heart that you just tormented day and night
I never hated this much before
Especially to a person I loved once….

I never imagine that I was so stupid that I can’t awake from it
I realize that I was being to martyr to that person
I was willing to give up anything I work for years
I was so DUMB to think that FOOLISHNESS

What was I thinking???
I was so blinded that I can’t see the light
It really hit me hard on the face that I really need to give it up
That I was so reckless, but now I learn from my mistake!

Move on Move on!!!

I ask my self is it alright?
Can you handle it?
Have you set your heart?
Can you ignore what you really feel?

I need to get through this, for pain it only brings
I never felt so hurt like this in my entire life!
I wish I never met her and fallen
Then maybe I wouldn’t be so mocked!

Never in my life have I experienced this agony
I can’t even sleep at night like I use too
You still cloud my mind and my thoughts
That I wish to have amnesia just to forget you!

It’s so hard to forget someone you loved before
And it’s hard to see them with out you in the picture
Maybe it's better this way, I tell my self
For I love too much that I didn’t save any for myself

I sacrifice my time my love my devotions
To the person that is very hard to reach from the very start
Why have I fallen in love with you??? That I hate you now!
Why did you change, in a blink of an eye you are someone else!

Sorry I don't know

I thought that you still don’t mind me
You still gave me the same treatment
You always make me wonder why???
But since I sense something wrong I was clueless

I’m sorry if I left or leave you
I don’t mean to be like that….
I was so used of you leaving me behind
I feel like you don’t need me that I should go…

You know that I would do anything
Even if you just say it I’ll make it happen
I’m sorry if I made you hanging
I’m sorry if I wasn’t there….

You could have told me to stay and I would
You always know I’ll obey what ever you ask of me
So why are so mad at me? I love you so much didn’t I?
I’m just here for you and waiting for you to love me back

I’m not asking anything from you…
I just want to be with you all day if you would allow it
You never heard me complain…
I just shut my mouth co’z I don’t want to force myself to you

You already broke my heart several times and I’m still here….
What more could you ask out of me…
Loving you and understanding you I did
But have you tried to understand me???

I did every possible thing that I know that would win your heart
But you just hate me instead of loving me….
I try to endure the pain you gave me every time you leave me
I just tell my self that she wants it that way and don’t force it….

You had me holding back to all I should have done to love you more
I know you love me too but when I’m with you, you just ignore me
What would you think if you were in my place...?
How would you move in to me if you know you just want me as a friend?

But even thou I’m like this I have loved you always
You never leave my mind and I’m trying to make it easier for you
I don’t want to be a burden to you, that’s what I’m doing….
But for you to be angry at me is too much, that you almost killed me….

Mile's Away.....

Days has been so awkward
When you have exasperated your self
It has been so dull and lonely walking in this boulevard
That I wish that I can have that someone back for my self

I’m missing you so much
And that I’m so used to being with you before
I feel so paranoid that I miss your touch
I long to hear your voice that never makes me bored

I haven’t been my self lately
Been doing some stuff just to forget this anxiety
But when night falls and I’m about to go to sleep
I can’t stop my self from thinking of you…

It’s complicated that I can’t handle this thoughts
That sometimes it makes me wonder all night long…
A hard time sleeping just having you around in my mind
The imagination starts to unfold……

I never felt so lonely, ever since you went away
The days had been so hard to get thru, falling back to you
So now in this lingering feeling of you in me, I look and find
That I must be with you no matter what the odds are…

Maybe SomeDay....

As I try to picture you in my mind
A lot of flash back I find
You have always flooded my thoughts
I can’t seem to forget you

Every minute I always find my self dreaming
That one day you would be mine
That I would be the luckiest man
To have you I cannot deny

I fallen for you that it so obvious
I try to keep it to my self but to no avail
I always follow my heart and always lead me to you
That I cannot control…

Maybe this feelings my softer side
I don’t have anything nor pride when I love
All I have is my heart that I can offer
That I hope you would accept

I’m just an ordinary guy with no super powers
Powers that could make you fall in love to me;
My love bloomed when I found you
The only reason I can find to be with you…

Uncertainties

I hate feeling, this factor
To which makes me unsure of what’s gonna happen
Going to life as we call it, climbing each floor
Steps that needs to be taken along and be a man

In my life, this might be my greatest challenge
That I must endure and perceive to reach a certain goal
I really hate to feel this paranoia that needs to avenge
Sometimes that I can’t relax and stop thinking about it and stroll

But I can’t, because it really comes with no warning
There’s no announcement and sign…
Life is full of surprises that it can take you up or down
That every event can change your everyday life

Only confusion will make you unease on everything
And amidst that choice, is that you can still be calm
Don’t be pressured to the events that might took place
Be ready for whatever it may be

You always need a clear head to think things over
And always weigh the circumstances of both parties
But false decision can be made in desperate times
When there is a clouded area in your mind.

Lazy....

I feel bored and uneasy
To my surprise I was blinded already
I don’t want to look anymore
My life a waste I see everyday

Maybe because I have been so burnt out
I have no more reason left in me to go on
All I wanna do is stay and rot in this cell
As I see all the things change one by one

My mind still a twist that can’t be fix
A lot of stuff that I came across which I cannot foresee
I always picture myself in a place which I had made
But to my evaluations it’s still beginning

Lost power to love once more
And wanting to be useless the whole day
I don’t care anymore if I live or die
But still I’m thankful to be alive

Looking For Love

As I journey my way to finding it
Still the same old feeling remains in me
The memories which I hold in me
Will now be erased one by one to be replaced with new ones

Another self continuation of making me know that I exist
To prove my self that I can love once more
The passion and pain I have endured
The hurt that hold me back into my slumber

Myself again I see with hope in my heart
Towards that same someone worth while
I know it’s too soon again
But this I must try and never give up on it

If I let pain consume me with hatred
Nothing will become of me if I let it be
Thou it still hurt sometimes I have to be strong
For that it would help me move on…

Unreachable

A shimmering light I found in the dark
That I thought would be the way out…
The light was so far away that it was impossible to reach
But you have no choice but to pursue it

As you tried as hard as you can to reach
It takes a bigger leap upon arriving to its nearest area
The hope you had will shatter a bit
Feeling of a never ending agony and tiredness

When you gave all you got and still no reward
That everything was lost, thou you tried so hard
This is what I had never expected
Not until I reach this point

Feeling of rejection and uncertainties
The drama of lost and defeat
When you came to the point that it’s useless
Still you tried and you got nothing to lose but time.

Now that you knew that it was worthless
Will you still continue or make a new way?
This might be a turning of events
As to which you will see the fallacies in life.

Anxious

I may not know what the future hold
I have been aloft and I let the wave carry me away
Time passes quickly and I’m growing old
Sitting all day waiting for nothing, and now I’m afraid

It’s ticking like a bomb waiting to explode
What must I do to change the path I’m walking too?
A road with uncertainties and failures
To which we all must strive to overcome it

We have all tried to hide our true selves
To defend our ego’s from being hurt and crushed
I cannot stop my self from thinking ahead
To which I’m planning a safe route to avoid death

Why are you so uneasy to your way of living?
When all you got to do is to fix your life
You should learn what’s the best things in life
Then pursue it with no hesitations to understand why you were made.

The Big Lie

I guess I got what I was asking for
I’m not sure if I’m ready for this call
I have been wondering in the place of anxiety
Guess I was paranoid to let it be

I think I’m dumb when I already have the chance to prevent it
But still I have to let her know, what is going on…
I really did it this time…
And I know that the consequence is hard like a crime

It’s not good to fool the one you love
It’s not good if I let it go wild and shove
I guess this is the only way I can let her see
What I have done so that I can be free

My conscience keeps on hunting me down
To break free from it as I always wanted
Now that she knows it
All I can do is wait for her judgment…

As I Let Go

Days that told the story of my life
Has now been told today to be know how I strive
My actions was not a measure, to all the mistakes I made
But it’s a lesson that I must learn that will never fade

So now as I replace the broken pieces
I try not to cry and hope to remove the pain, release
That it was not meant to be, of what you have thought
That the dream will never come true and you sought

As this day ends with a frail on my face
I cannot hide that I’m hurting even thou I did not embrace
I set you free to the world I cannot change
When I tried to give my all not asking for anything in exchange

You didn’t treat me well that I hurt time and time
The pain I try to hide and never let it show like a mime
As this went on I cannot hold it anymore
I lost the patience I had and all drops to the floor…

Now as I look at my self on what had happened
I try to face my day with no more anxiety, let it end
My hopes and plans that I imagined slowly tumbles
Like the future you made has gone into crumbles.

Wishing You Were Here....

A word longing for someone of importance
To hold and touch you once more in an instance
Dreaming of how to dream of you here in my arms
I’m missing you, I wanna feel you charm

I’m so used in living with you before
Spending all day long, being with you I adore
The happiness you bring when you are near
My self I cannot control, to feel you in my arms so dear

But now you went away, set distance from where your heart is
I’m still holding on to that tender kisses
I need you here and now, my agonies at night…
To imagine your face your smiles, I take flight

To fly to where you are, is what I’m hopping for…
For you to accept me once again, on that I would swore!
That in every breath I take, it’s all because of you
My life has no meaning if you are not mine, that is true!

And now as I start my day without you here with me
The incompleteness of my existence, the feeling of not living, like a dying tree
Only you can bring back the light that has been removed in my life
The only thing that would make me alive…