This year was not what I expected it to be
A dozens of unwanted memories is all that I can see
Christmas was supposed to be a jolly day
But it reminds me of the truth, I learned on that day.
A certain number in a month which I always remember
The only thing that reminds me of my slumber
I wanna remove that past memory of mine
So that I can never feel the pain that was so divine!
Thou I tried to forget everything
Places, events, things even names! It keeps on hunting
I just wanted to stop knowing what I had
Stop feeling the pain that sucks so bad…
Well it’s really a bummer to fall out of love
Where you just can’t take the pain, and all of the above
Even thou you love that person so much
It really comes to an end when the pain is too much…
Friday, December 31, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Resolutions of Conflictions
The coming year is my first day view
Where I need to focus with all of the cues
A year where I start fresh
And what I really needed to fix all this mess.
I leave what I gained and learn from what I lost
To begin new memories of life with lesser cost
Maxing out what was left behind
Things I had forgotten, that is still on my mind.
Completing my basic needs
Securing a more cautious seeds
So that it could grow wiser
Than what the bearer couldn’t achieve.
Thou I still dream of yesterdays
Re-living what I had before and come what may
I would give anything to experience that again
But no… I should be more stronger to release this pain.
A noble thing to do is to carry on
Even if the burden is too heavy, life goes on
We cannot change whatever we’ve done in the past
What matter is that we learn from that mistakes and make sure it would be the last.
Where I need to focus with all of the cues
A year where I start fresh
And what I really needed to fix all this mess.
I leave what I gained and learn from what I lost
To begin new memories of life with lesser cost
Maxing out what was left behind
Things I had forgotten, that is still on my mind.
Completing my basic needs
Securing a more cautious seeds
So that it could grow wiser
Than what the bearer couldn’t achieve.
Thou I still dream of yesterdays
Re-living what I had before and come what may
I would give anything to experience that again
But no… I should be more stronger to release this pain.
A noble thing to do is to carry on
Even if the burden is too heavy, life goes on
We cannot change whatever we’ve done in the past
What matter is that we learn from that mistakes and make sure it would be the last.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
A Call for Change
I leave when I know that I must
To seek more in life, in which I trust
It’s not the end but a beginning
In which you’ll understand more, if you get my meaning.
Set off and find greener pastures
Opportunities that comes in various gestures
Go on and never look back
For it might just hold you back.
Move towards a certain goal
Then all the rest will just roll
It’s like a dice which bounces with uncertainty
Falls flat to give you your destiny.
Imagine if you would just do nothing
Will you expect anything?
It would take a miracle, but miracles happen when u act
Guess not, and that’s a fact.
Life may not be fair for all
But at least we need to struggle or else we fall
I already know my calling
A stretch that I must do alone to stop me from falling.
To seek more in life, in which I trust
It’s not the end but a beginning
In which you’ll understand more, if you get my meaning.
Set off and find greener pastures
Opportunities that comes in various gestures
Go on and never look back
For it might just hold you back.
Move towards a certain goal
Then all the rest will just roll
It’s like a dice which bounces with uncertainty
Falls flat to give you your destiny.
Imagine if you would just do nothing
Will you expect anything?
It would take a miracle, but miracles happen when u act
Guess not, and that’s a fact.
Life may not be fair for all
But at least we need to struggle or else we fall
I already know my calling
A stretch that I must do alone to stop me from falling.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Please Heart Stop
A moment ago I felt that I can’t breath
Seeing again the things that I hide underneath
Memories I wish to disappear
Pictures frozen in time… slowly reappears.
I told myself, never ever look at those again
For it only brings agony as each photo reminisce on pain…
Still my curious heart keeps on and on
That I can’t refrain, even if I’m in frown.
I should stop lingering in the past
So that I can concentrate on things that last…
I gave my all to work things out…
That’s what I did, but I guess it didn’t work out.
Why am I still thinking of things like this?
Am I prolonging my sufferings as I fall from the abyss?
I don’t want to hold any grudges as much as possible
I just want to stop loving you! But I’m not able…
I should be happy that I’m out already
Still a part of me is struggling, very unsteady
If only I didn’t have to love that much
Then maybe.., I wouldn’t be this crushed…
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Return to Default
Here I am with a broken wing
A broken heart that cannot sing
I felt that I have died, loosing the life in me
That I don’t want to feel anything in this degree
I try to make myself enjoy, so that I won’t be crappy
But I want a day to go by, not pretending that I’m happy
I can be with friends and have so much fun
Up to the extent of being too drunk that I can’t even run.
I tried messing up my life, doing all stupid things
Like fall from a tree, and got bruises from a fight
Still I didn’t found comfort in all of that
Even thou if I scream so loud, that it hurts so bad!
As I realize that I’m trying to divert my pain
I saw myself suffered even more, instead of what I could have gained
Now I use this pain as a source of strength to go on
I think it help me a bit and found a reason to move on…
So now I’m turning myself back to the old me
Where I set my thoughts back from where I want it to be
A preset that makes me feel brand new
In exchange of the past that was so anew.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Reality of Life
The sun sets as I watch from the sea shore
A ray of yellowish red and so much more…
Thinking of the things that I could have done
Some very late reactions, now it’s gone.
All I have is myself to blame
So I try to rephrase my life in this game…
Looser will always be looser
And winners will always be winners.
The facts of life which I learned
As I move towards the goal that I must earn.
The sea breeze a cool air that calms
To which I sit back and relax to the trees of palm.
Feeling the waves underneath my feet
And the sands that came along to greet…
I close my eyes and watch my past
Guess it will always be there, a broken glass…
Some things you cannot forget
Some things that gives you so much regret…
I just wish that the waves would carry me away
Far away and be gone.. or just die trying in vain…
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Torn Inside of Me
A life that I once loved is already gone
Guess… I really haven’t move on…
I can never forget everything
Even thou I knew it has lost it's meaning.
Now I live my life as carefree as I wanna be
To which things doesn’t matter, that’s what I see
I portrait life in a much more different way
Than before… I gave my all and life just to be played.
Of all the persons that I have trusted so much
Of all the things I have shared that are unmatched
Of all the loved I gave and everything I could find
“Why…” is still the question that lingers on my mind…
As I try helping myself to recover
I see myself helping someone else and that I discover
That love never stops on loving
Even if the pain is too great to keep on going…
I know I’m still hurting…
Still I need to be strong to take this beating
A struggle inside of me to which I try to hide
A face I make to replace my broken pride.
Will that day of renewal ever come?
That I will be free from this pain that I can’t overcome?
Shall I find the love that I have lost?
Will she be fine even if our paths never cross?
I can’t stop and think about how she is…
That it hurts even more to love her after all of this…
For my heart still belongs to her…
Even if it’s so broken that every ache seems forever…
Friday, November 5, 2010
Fortune Dilemma
Beginnings maybe hard and uncertain
But to that challenges, will then opens the curtains
That life is what we do and live for
And the choices we take, to land or to anchor.
It’s difficult to choose from options that are given
Rather than the thought of nothing to believe in
But not all paths lead to a happy ending
And the things you thought right, is not what you are seeing.
Foresee things and trying to predict
That’s what I’m trying to constrict
Because it’s better to know first the results
Than to end up with a lot of faults.
For the events that come along will fool your eyes
Better think twice before you lose out of sight
The actions to be taken and reasons to be said
Will lose its meaning when you tumble down to the end.
So as I take note and unravel my thoughts
My judgment and common sense will always sought
Proving that the equilibrium of life has its floss
That in weighing which is which can remove you gross…
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Poem oF Lov3
I wanted to tell you what’s inside my heart
The important and ultimate word is never part
All I need is you, that’s what my heart always shouts
To stay forever, to have and hold is what really counts.
To dream of love that never fades…
Ung parang buwan at araw, kaya hindi nag kaka shades
To see that love shines in your eyes
Is the feeling that can’t compare, can’t stop to fly!
Your smile keeps on hunting me and even in my sleep
It’s like an addiction, a memory that is kept in too deep
Your scent lingers even if you’re not there
I think I’m going crazy, but I don’t care!!!
How I wish this time would stop…
Moments together, memories, laughs, love… plz don’t pop?
Your voice shoots a straight arrow “Chuck!”
A sound that pierces the heart.
And you may not know that you are my Sungit Queen…
I love you forever even in my dreams
Remember that I’ll never change, even if I became a grumpy old man
You’ll be in my heart, until my last breath slips, ikaw lng mag pakilan man…
The important and ultimate word is never part
All I need is you, that’s what my heart always shouts
To stay forever, to have and hold is what really counts.
To dream of love that never fades…
Ung parang buwan at araw, kaya hindi nag kaka shades
To see that love shines in your eyes
Is the feeling that can’t compare, can’t stop to fly!
Your smile keeps on hunting me and even in my sleep
It’s like an addiction, a memory that is kept in too deep
Your scent lingers even if you’re not there
I think I’m going crazy, but I don’t care!!!
How I wish this time would stop…
Moments together, memories, laughs, love… plz don’t pop?
Your voice shoots a straight arrow “Chuck!”
A sound that pierces the heart.
And you may not know that you are my Sungit Queen…
I love you forever even in my dreams
Remember that I’ll never change, even if I became a grumpy old man
You’ll be in my heart, until my last breath slips, ikaw lng mag pakilan man…
Saturday, October 23, 2010
The Whole You That I’ll be Missin
Days move so fast, still it’s not enough
The moments spent together that I just love
Seeing you completes my everyday
That the music inside me starts to play.
Your eyes that I love to watch
And your long black hair that I want to touch
I cannot explain why I am like this
But I love this feeling that I always wish…
As I make this poem while you’re around
I felt the excitement, the profound
Where I gaze at you as you do your ways
My heart beats fast so I try to look away.
Just the sight of you makes me feel nervous
Sometimes I can’t hide it, it’s so obvious…
So as the school days start to end
I’ll be missin your smiles, so I’ll just pretend.
That I’ll be waiting for the day to see you again
And the long wait that I have to face then
From here on I’ll be contented with my memories of you
While I pour myself in this poem and watch you from this point of view.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Rain on my Face..
As the scenarios refrain, again and again
A sad melodic tune that plays to sour its end
The cold and freezing feeling of loneliness
Like this gloomy weather of rain and abstinence.
The sky turned into gray…
And the music of life stops to play
Watching everything fall, and lose its shape
Like the clouds that come and go and slowly fades.
Then the rain fell and it was so cold on my chicks
As I look up into the sky and the wind blows to mix
I stand alone from there on…
Knowing it will be like this, for the reasons were shown.
As the rain hides the tears on my face
I close my eyes and see all of it gone without a trace
The sun that was always there went away
So the darkness and the rain is now my every day.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
A Losing Battle
Another day of sentiment
Guess it’s always the same regiment
The campaign I took was not what I exceed
That I again have fallen to the ground and bleed.
It’s not even a winning battle to begin with
But still I charge in and consume all of my wit
Still I tried my best to conquer and win
But the victories I made were just on top of your skin.
Days go by and the battles went on
Trying to survive each and every action
Took a bullet from my feet, and still I tried to move
For I won’t go down that easy coz I have something to prove.
That even if it cost me my life on the battlefield
I know what I was fighting for and I knew that my fate was sealed
Upon taking this unwinnable quest
I also prepared myself for the worst…
Guess it’s always the same regiment
The campaign I took was not what I exceed
That I again have fallen to the ground and bleed.
It’s not even a winning battle to begin with
But still I charge in and consume all of my wit
Still I tried my best to conquer and win
But the victories I made were just on top of your skin.
Days go by and the battles went on
Trying to survive each and every action
Took a bullet from my feet, and still I tried to move
For I won’t go down that easy coz I have something to prove.
That even if it cost me my life on the battlefield
I know what I was fighting for and I knew that my fate was sealed
Upon taking this unwinnable quest
I also prepared myself for the worst…
Monday, October 11, 2010
Confused
I cannot understand what I am feeling right now
It’s like I’m not at ease with the end of my old vow
Sometimes I can feel that she’s still calling, and asking me to go back
A lot of things remind me of her each and every day that reenacts’.
I can’t seem to get a hold of not wondering how she is…
Thou I try so hard to forget that she even exists
That I thought I would not worry a single bit
But what’s going on? I ask myself… I’m still in this pit…
Why am I still longing to see her?
Or talk to her just once more…
I can hear myself asking and shouting out
Is this what you really want?
I wanted a love that was true and not built on lies
A love that was once so pure and delicate
A life time of companionship till the end
Where it only ends with my last breath
But I guess its better this way…
I did my best and gave my all… but it just swayed
The love I once hold was long gone
And it’s easier to forget the pain when the rain stops and give way to the sun.
It’s like I’m not at ease with the end of my old vow
Sometimes I can feel that she’s still calling, and asking me to go back
A lot of things remind me of her each and every day that reenacts’.
I can’t seem to get a hold of not wondering how she is…
Thou I try so hard to forget that she even exists
That I thought I would not worry a single bit
But what’s going on? I ask myself… I’m still in this pit…
Why am I still longing to see her?
Or talk to her just once more…
I can hear myself asking and shouting out
Is this what you really want?
I wanted a love that was true and not built on lies
A love that was once so pure and delicate
A life time of companionship till the end
Where it only ends with my last breath
But I guess its better this way…
I did my best and gave my all… but it just swayed
The love I once hold was long gone
And it’s easier to forget the pain when the rain stops and give way to the sun.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Pieces of a Wish
As I look up in the dark and gloomy sky
Clouds of gray and the stars and the moon begin to fly
I always find myself dreaming of love that I once hold
That it would rewind and play for me to foretold.
I think of love every now and then
As if it’s my only way of starting again
To find someone I can turn too
A person I would love fully till the day of I do.
Parts of my wish that was once whole
Is to be with that person forever, not just a stroll
To express who I am which I’m not good at
Another personality I need to fix and do the math.
I can love simply because it’s what I feel
I can be yours forever if you say you will
I don’t need anything else only you
To clear up my gloomy nights and see a better view.
I want someone I can trust with my everything
Share my thoughts and dreams and believing
I can be as faithful and as loving for I love too much
But sometimes it hurts for wishes cannot be touch.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Infatuation
Most people can’t react to a simple glance
Is it hard to notice or appreciate a small affection?
Maybe we should try and give it a chance
Time and effort for it to have an intervention.
As far as I’m concerned, I’m really attracted to her
The way she moves, her smiles her eyes, everything!
The moment I saw her I knew I’ve fallen for her
Just to see her everyday gives me a joyous feeling.
I can’t act normal and stay cool…
I’m so tensed and cautious
I get so nervous that I’m acting like a fool
Sigh .... tongue twisted and so anxious.
I really hope to know her more
Share moments together with laughter
I can only dream for now, that someday you would open the door
But with the things I been doing, it’s going to falter…
And for some reason… I can’t get closer to her
I felt like I have been a bit marginalized
For she now’s ignores me in a way that I can’t get closer
Maybe it’s a test, maybe it’s my quest to understand what is truly in demand.
Is it hard to notice or appreciate a small affection?
Maybe we should try and give it a chance
Time and effort for it to have an intervention.
As far as I’m concerned, I’m really attracted to her
The way she moves, her smiles her eyes, everything!
The moment I saw her I knew I’ve fallen for her
Just to see her everyday gives me a joyous feeling.
I can’t act normal and stay cool…
I’m so tensed and cautious
I get so nervous that I’m acting like a fool
Sigh .... tongue twisted and so anxious.
I really hope to know her more
Share moments together with laughter
I can only dream for now, that someday you would open the door
But with the things I been doing, it’s going to falter…
And for some reason… I can’t get closer to her
I felt like I have been a bit marginalized
For she now’s ignores me in a way that I can’t get closer
Maybe it’s a test, maybe it’s my quest to understand what is truly in demand.
Friday, September 24, 2010
A Symphony of the Heart
When love comes, crushing down on your doorstep
Reach out and let it in, when you feel the same feeling
For love does not choose any time and day to be felt
It happens instantly without you even knowing
Love sometimes makes you loose control
And let you do the stupidest thing you couldn’t imagine
A feeling of happiness that touches your soul
Like a fireworks display that brightens the scene
Falling in and out of love is very interesting
A choice for couples to stay and go to a new beginning
For love comes and goes like day and night
Disappears faster if you hold on too tight
But love doesn’t end with hellos and goodbyes
It starts with just a blink of an eye!
You’ll be surprise where it would take you
For if it true then it’s a rare point of view
That acceptance and love is where we want to live
The sensation of which true love can only give
I cannot say that everyone can have a happy ending
For that lies alone on the both of you to find each other’s meaning
Reach out and let it in, when you feel the same feeling
For love does not choose any time and day to be felt
It happens instantly without you even knowing
Love sometimes makes you loose control
And let you do the stupidest thing you couldn’t imagine
A feeling of happiness that touches your soul
Like a fireworks display that brightens the scene
Falling in and out of love is very interesting
A choice for couples to stay and go to a new beginning
For love comes and goes like day and night
Disappears faster if you hold on too tight
But love doesn’t end with hellos and goodbyes
It starts with just a blink of an eye!
You’ll be surprise where it would take you
For if it true then it’s a rare point of view
That acceptance and love is where we want to live
The sensation of which true love can only give
I cannot say that everyone can have a happy ending
For that lies alone on the both of you to find each other’s meaning
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Apathy
Molding a dream I once had
Shaping it again, in which I hope to be glad
Where everything feels a bit awkward and new
A start a beginning to which we all find our cue.
The days I had has been a bit better
Where pain and hatred has vanished just like a stormy weather
For I recall that I was being fooled and everything was gone
And to my anger, wrath took over and I might just kill someone.
Good thing I stayed calm, and wait, and think till I was stable
I guess if I was out of control I could have done something horrible
But before that, I almost sold my soul to the devil
The seven deadly sins was the path I took, the way to be evil.
I let my emotions take over me
That I was so down with agony that it almost killed me
I didn’t wanted to experience this and I was shocked!
The truth hit me in the face so hard, I was mentally blocked.
In this modern day of uncertainties
Life really is a surprise with too many possibilities
So try to expect less and do more
And feel less to make yourself a solid core.
Shaping it again, in which I hope to be glad
Where everything feels a bit awkward and new
A start a beginning to which we all find our cue.
The days I had has been a bit better
Where pain and hatred has vanished just like a stormy weather
For I recall that I was being fooled and everything was gone
And to my anger, wrath took over and I might just kill someone.
Good thing I stayed calm, and wait, and think till I was stable
I guess if I was out of control I could have done something horrible
But before that, I almost sold my soul to the devil
The seven deadly sins was the path I took, the way to be evil.
I let my emotions take over me
That I was so down with agony that it almost killed me
I didn’t wanted to experience this and I was shocked!
The truth hit me in the face so hard, I was mentally blocked.
In this modern day of uncertainties
Life really is a surprise with too many possibilities
So try to expect less and do more
And feel less to make yourself a solid core.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Unwanted Memories
When ever I’m alone
I always remember my past that I guess I out grown
Clearly as my mind thinks of it over and over
Seeing what happened and regret that gave its cover
I can still feel the pain of that last commitment
Like a hunting and a torment
Days go by and it’s hard not to acknowledge it
For it’s almost a life time of promises, only torn to bits
My time and effort was wasted
To my dismay, revenge was a plan, that’s what I wanted
But as time goes by I kept my self calm
For it would do me no favor to act vigorously and explode like a bomb
I don’t know if I can forgive…
I can’t seem to find a cure for this pain to be relived
I don’t feel the love that I once gave
I can’t understand that when this comes up I feel in rage
But it’s a part of me now so I must move on
And find that person worthy my love to be shown
I could not careless of the direction that I choose
As long as it’s somewhere going far away like an ocean cruise
Life is what we make it…
People around us give opportunities to benefit
Thou it’s hard to lose something and gain
We always have the choice to stay or remain….
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
You’re My Medley
I am like this because of you
It’s something different, I hope you can feel it too
I’m a bit shy and lost for words most of the time
Inclinations of my feelings toward you and make it rhyme
Leaning on the wall as I think of you
Listening to the music that’s in tune with the view.
Looking into the sky and remembering your face
Longing to see you once more I can’t seem to erase
On that moment you ask me something
On that moment you spoke to me
Our worlds first met and I was dazzled to everything
Only that time I was in a trance ^_^
Voicing out to you with all I am
Vesting my self and surrender to your charm
Very simple is what I liked about you and all that I can find
Vainly hopeless for me as it may seem to be, but I don’t mind
Eager to hear your voice and your laughs
Enlighten by your beauty to which you have
Each day I wish to be with you
Even if faith may disagree I’ll make way to be with you
You’re the one that can make me sing songs for real
You‘re the one that makes me fall head over heals
You will always be the only person that I adore
You are my medley my inspiration, to this I swore
Sunday, September 12, 2010
The Vast
I cannot say nor cannot do
Things that I should, to clear things up and un glue
But one day, I will take action
Because time is not a certain option
I have been renewed with the people around me
Opened ideas and was stopped from being too blind to see
That everything happens for a reason
And every event you need comparison
I saw another course in life
Another chapter another rife
For it doesn’t stop from there when it ends
But starts again to descend or ascend
The path may be uncertain
But thats how it goes, to move on and not to remain
It’s whether you make it right
Or just let it be and sulk and lose this fight
Anyways, as this unpredicted events are about to happen
Be sure of the chances you take are always open…
To be able to adapt thru changes that my come along
And to lose and gain with ease as this prolongs
Things that I should, to clear things up and un glue
But one day, I will take action
Because time is not a certain option
I have been renewed with the people around me
Opened ideas and was stopped from being too blind to see
That everything happens for a reason
And every event you need comparison
I saw another course in life
Another chapter another rife
For it doesn’t stop from there when it ends
But starts again to descend or ascend
The path may be uncertain
But thats how it goes, to move on and not to remain
It’s whether you make it right
Or just let it be and sulk and lose this fight
Anyways, as this unpredicted events are about to happen
Be sure of the chances you take are always open…
To be able to adapt thru changes that my come along
And to lose and gain with ease as this prolongs
Friday, September 3, 2010
I’ve Grown… I Guess…
Living like nothing has happened
I can actually relay each day ahead not to end
For every day is always a start
And chances to take and do it smart
I learned a lot from the months that has past
That not all things are always there to last
I understand the way of letting go
For if I hold on till I burn out I won’t grow
I gained to much and lost too much
Act brave and strong but I didn’t hatch
For the time I broke free it was almost too late
Good thing it was not over for it’s going to be great
And greater things are still to happen in my life
I can be proud of what went by that change my hype
For if it did not I would be spoiled
That I would not realize the growth I made already coiled
Straightening the curves and curls
That’s what I should do to pass this hurls
For I know now what is better
And I trust the rest to God for me to be free from this fetter
I can actually relay each day ahead not to end
For every day is always a start
And chances to take and do it smart
I learned a lot from the months that has past
That not all things are always there to last
I understand the way of letting go
For if I hold on till I burn out I won’t grow
I gained to much and lost too much
Act brave and strong but I didn’t hatch
For the time I broke free it was almost too late
Good thing it was not over for it’s going to be great
And greater things are still to happen in my life
I can be proud of what went by that change my hype
For if it did not I would be spoiled
That I would not realize the growth I made already coiled
Straightening the curves and curls
That’s what I should do to pass this hurls
For I know now what is better
And I trust the rest to God for me to be free from this fetter
Friday, August 27, 2010
Vendetta
Lying in my bed trying to sleep
Having a hard time even if it’s wink
I cannot stop my self to think things so deep
As I plan my days and mark it with an ink
I’m still preparing my self for the events to come
That I know isn’t pleasant and assuring
Making me think too much of all the sum
For me to know if everything is foreseeing
The rest is still to come and I need to be ready
For unlike before I wasn’t, so I see the results
Never been so bothered with anxiety
For the thoughts that rises are sometimes insults
Now… guess I’ll make things big
For me to reach the goal that I have indeed
Vengeance is what really motivates me in this dig
That I cannot seem to forget even if I bleed
I’m trying to turn into righteousness
But I want to take my revenge so badly
Hopefully in the days to come, I’m still with humbleness
For if not then the grudge that I have is deadly
Having a hard time even if it’s wink
I cannot stop my self to think things so deep
As I plan my days and mark it with an ink
I’m still preparing my self for the events to come
That I know isn’t pleasant and assuring
Making me think too much of all the sum
For me to know if everything is foreseeing
The rest is still to come and I need to be ready
For unlike before I wasn’t, so I see the results
Never been so bothered with anxiety
For the thoughts that rises are sometimes insults
Now… guess I’ll make things big
For me to reach the goal that I have indeed
Vengeance is what really motivates me in this dig
That I cannot seem to forget even if I bleed
I’m trying to turn into righteousness
But I want to take my revenge so badly
Hopefully in the days to come, I’m still with humbleness
For if not then the grudge that I have is deadly
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
My Feelings Defined
As the night carries me to sleep
I hope to dream of you as I fall asleep
Your smile that hunts my thoughts
And your long black hair, I want to touch
As I close my eyes I see you
Till I wake up I think of you
I wasn’t ready to be in love again
But when I found you it all began
My heart before was crushed so bad
And putting it back together is all I had
I lost every single bit of me
And fallen from where I was used to be
I made too much friends to forget the pain
Kept my self busy and set goals to attain
But when I saw you, a sudden wind of change
You just blew me away and all my plans rearrange
I was not sure on how to tell you before
That I was contented just to see you more and more
But it occurred to me, to at least tell you my feelings
That I have this huge crush on you, this is so revealing…
Sometimes I have no strength to come near you
For my tongue twist when talking with you
Hopelessly I’m bewitch by your charm
So conscious that even if it’s cold I feel so warm
I’m sorry and forgive me for being like this
Trying to be close to you, I don’t wanna be dismiss
All I wanted is to know you more
And maybe if love comes it will be forevermore
I hope to dream of you as I fall asleep
Your smile that hunts my thoughts
And your long black hair, I want to touch
As I close my eyes I see you
Till I wake up I think of you
I wasn’t ready to be in love again
But when I found you it all began
My heart before was crushed so bad
And putting it back together is all I had
I lost every single bit of me
And fallen from where I was used to be
I made too much friends to forget the pain
Kept my self busy and set goals to attain
But when I saw you, a sudden wind of change
You just blew me away and all my plans rearrange
I was not sure on how to tell you before
That I was contented just to see you more and more
But it occurred to me, to at least tell you my feelings
That I have this huge crush on you, this is so revealing…
Sometimes I have no strength to come near you
For my tongue twist when talking with you
Hopelessly I’m bewitch by your charm
So conscious that even if it’s cold I feel so warm
I’m sorry and forgive me for being like this
Trying to be close to you, I don’t wanna be dismiss
All I wanted is to know you more
And maybe if love comes it will be forevermore
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Awakening
My next move to self renewal
Is to find a solid ground to stabilize my status
To regain my pride and stop this withdrawal
From being naïve and being hiatus
The moment I have realize this
Makes it easy for my logical reasoning not to miss
Being sulking up too long, and now it’s over
The new me started to become the drover
I already acknowledge this before
But to my hearts content it was neglected
I followed my heart and lose my core
Now is a different story, it should be perfected
Need to find reasons for my self to exist
For the old reason was nothing but a twist
Guess that I was still lingering, that was long gone
That took me too long to realize, that was not the one
Simply thanks to life beacons with what I had
To comply to the things that are at hand
Surly I need to erase the past that hurts
A memory of everything great and worst…
Is to find a solid ground to stabilize my status
To regain my pride and stop this withdrawal
From being naïve and being hiatus
The moment I have realize this
Makes it easy for my logical reasoning not to miss
Being sulking up too long, and now it’s over
The new me started to become the drover
I already acknowledge this before
But to my hearts content it was neglected
I followed my heart and lose my core
Now is a different story, it should be perfected
Need to find reasons for my self to exist
For the old reason was nothing but a twist
Guess that I was still lingering, that was long gone
That took me too long to realize, that was not the one
Simply thanks to life beacons with what I had
To comply to the things that are at hand
Surly I need to erase the past that hurts
A memory of everything great and worst…
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
The Big Step
Guess I made progress today
To make something not so usual, a holiday!
I just overcome one of my fears
Like I surpassed a bit of my worries to be clear
I never expected to make it
I was still speechless, I was in heat
Surprised that I reach out once more
That the last time was so unsure
May be I’m still tied to the old bond I had
That makes it hard to move up on this step, I feel bad
I can only cross forward and that’s all I need
For that’s the only thing for me to do indeed
As I reach out for my self’s own happiness
As I gamble everything I have left to emptiness
I cannot guarantee it would be good or bad
As long as I tried and gave may best to add
Faith is now what I have to hold on too
For that’s what left for me to have in times so blue
I can only wish to acquire a blank memory of before
So that I can live my life once more…
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Longings...
Today as I unfold my feelings
I know that this will be a new beginning
As I say the emotions that I always hide
And try to express it with all of my might
From the day that I first saw you
I knew I’ve fallen, for you that’s true
I tried to come near you but it was always in vain
I was scared nor being naïve, I was afraid of pain
As the day passes that I haven’t confess my thoughts
I felt this aching inside of me that I want to sought
I wanted to talk to you and know you more, that was the catch
So I tried to be with you, but being with you is too much
I was so nervous being with you, even if I’m trying to act cool
That I’m so happy that I cannot explain when I’m with you at school
I just can’t help to stare at you and watch your eyes meet mine
Because I cannot get the courage to tell you I like you, my self I want to define
So now as I gave you this short indention of my self
For you to know my actions really can tell and be felt
As I try to capture the exact feelings and put it into words
I hope that letting you know how I feel, can change my world
I know that this will be a new beginning
As I say the emotions that I always hide
And try to express it with all of my might
From the day that I first saw you
I knew I’ve fallen, for you that’s true
I tried to come near you but it was always in vain
I was scared nor being naïve, I was afraid of pain
As the day passes that I haven’t confess my thoughts
I felt this aching inside of me that I want to sought
I wanted to talk to you and know you more, that was the catch
So I tried to be with you, but being with you is too much
I was so nervous being with you, even if I’m trying to act cool
That I’m so happy that I cannot explain when I’m with you at school
I just can’t help to stare at you and watch your eyes meet mine
Because I cannot get the courage to tell you I like you, my self I want to define
So now as I gave you this short indention of my self
For you to know my actions really can tell and be felt
As I try to capture the exact feelings and put it into words
I hope that letting you know how I feel, can change my world
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Withstand
A few Seconds of mornings…
Is one of the best moments in my life
For it’s where you haven’t remembered anything
The feeling of worrying nothing, even your strife
Starting the day right thinking nothing
Lying on my bed half awake
I wonder what will I see today in my stretching’s
Recalling all my duties as I watch day break
Looking outside my window are clouds
Seeing how peaceful the world revolves
And the stars that slowly fades with out a sound
Makes me see that every thing has a resolve
I may never know what will be given for tomorrow
Nor the days and future to come in between
But surly I know I want to end my sorrow
And make the best out in all I do to be keen…
So now as I sit at the side of my bed
Still murmuring on my pillow
Guess mornings are gifts, for I have awakened my silly head
And enlighten by the sun to make me stronger to grow
Is one of the best moments in my life
For it’s where you haven’t remembered anything
The feeling of worrying nothing, even your strife
Starting the day right thinking nothing
Lying on my bed half awake
I wonder what will I see today in my stretching’s
Recalling all my duties as I watch day break
Looking outside my window are clouds
Seeing how peaceful the world revolves
And the stars that slowly fades with out a sound
Makes me see that every thing has a resolve
I may never know what will be given for tomorrow
Nor the days and future to come in between
But surly I know I want to end my sorrow
And make the best out in all I do to be keen…
So now as I sit at the side of my bed
Still murmuring on my pillow
Guess mornings are gifts, for I have awakened my silly head
And enlighten by the sun to make me stronger to grow
Monday, July 26, 2010
To Regain, Restrain, or Release?
Another night of restlessness
Planning my moves carefully into goodness
Can’t hardly sleep at night…
So busy thinking, it’s almost daylight
My mind speaks a lot, even in the darkness
It’s like telling me to charge in and break the fortress..
I tried to rest all my worries for me to relax
But to no avail, it keeps on and on to the max!
A lot of things cloud my mind…
But thank God for that I can forget and be blind
The small factors that assist me in my life
Are now the essentials that I need in this fight
As I venture the path I have taken
Mostly it’s hard to hold back everything, being half awakened
For I know now the true nature of this ordeal
That one mistake leads to another and you become evil
So now as I try to make amends with myself I ask…
Will this be your notion for success, mixing this flask?
Shall this be my key to start a new, like they always bash!
Or will I not… or shall I not… because my mind say’s I want to clash!
Planning my moves carefully into goodness
Can’t hardly sleep at night…
So busy thinking, it’s almost daylight
My mind speaks a lot, even in the darkness
It’s like telling me to charge in and break the fortress..
I tried to rest all my worries for me to relax
But to no avail, it keeps on and on to the max!
A lot of things cloud my mind…
But thank God for that I can forget and be blind
The small factors that assist me in my life
Are now the essentials that I need in this fight
As I venture the path I have taken
Mostly it’s hard to hold back everything, being half awakened
For I know now the true nature of this ordeal
That one mistake leads to another and you become evil
So now as I try to make amends with myself I ask…
Will this be your notion for success, mixing this flask?
Shall this be my key to start a new, like they always bash!
Or will I not… or shall I not… because my mind say’s I want to clash!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
A Lier Till the End...
When you have thought of fooling someone
Could you have at least think twice?
That it’s gonna turn something from here… to gone…
A mistake unforgivable to anyone, because that’s the price
A stupid judgment of something that shouldn’t be done
For it leads to pain and hatred, the path of a damned
Didn’t thought about it so I was just toyed for fun
I gave trust and now betrayal was renounced
Now I sought for vengeance more eagerly
Waiting and planning for that day to arrive
I gone through it many times so don’t take me lightly
The agony of suffering I endured, I’ll give it back 10x till I die!
For that will make me contented from losing
No regrets and remorse for your so deserving
You made me like this so don’t wonder why
I’ll show you death when we cross our time
For you already know what you just did
So you’re ready for the consequences to be fulfilled
I promise to make you pay till I see you bleed
Because that would be my happiness my true self will be reviled!
Could you have at least think twice?
That it’s gonna turn something from here… to gone…
A mistake unforgivable to anyone, because that’s the price
A stupid judgment of something that shouldn’t be done
For it leads to pain and hatred, the path of a damned
Didn’t thought about it so I was just toyed for fun
I gave trust and now betrayal was renounced
Now I sought for vengeance more eagerly
Waiting and planning for that day to arrive
I gone through it many times so don’t take me lightly
The agony of suffering I endured, I’ll give it back 10x till I die!
For that will make me contented from losing
No regrets and remorse for your so deserving
You made me like this so don’t wonder why
I’ll show you death when we cross our time
For you already know what you just did
So you’re ready for the consequences to be fulfilled
I promise to make you pay till I see you bleed
Because that would be my happiness my true self will be reviled!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Reminiscing…
I was still fine when I last remembered
The feeling of fearing nothing even death
I was full of life and the days were so colored
Each moment was nothing like the air I breathe
The sun was always up and I have my smile
Factor that make’s you stand out in a crowd
Even the simple things I treasure was my style
And small pieces of memories I keep makes me proud
I was always fulfilled and I could not ask for anything
When times that I have nothing, I didn’t even care!
Now as I look at my life when I lost that thing
The dark clouds started to appear and now life is not fare
The calmness I once had was loosen with just a single blast
And the rage and anger overcome every part of me
That I cannot imagine that this was going to happen so fast!
I made a mistake in choosing and now it’s what I see…
I must now live with the pain of being betrayed
That it’s the start of a new beginning
In this world of unpredicted events that I hated
I only hope that the path I take would be more fulfilling…
The feeling of fearing nothing even death
I was full of life and the days were so colored
Each moment was nothing like the air I breathe
The sun was always up and I have my smile
Factor that make’s you stand out in a crowd
Even the simple things I treasure was my style
And small pieces of memories I keep makes me proud
I was always fulfilled and I could not ask for anything
When times that I have nothing, I didn’t even care!
Now as I look at my life when I lost that thing
The dark clouds started to appear and now life is not fare
The calmness I once had was loosen with just a single blast
And the rage and anger overcome every part of me
That I cannot imagine that this was going to happen so fast!
I made a mistake in choosing and now it’s what I see…
I must now live with the pain of being betrayed
That it’s the start of a new beginning
In this world of unpredicted events that I hated
I only hope that the path I take would be more fulfilling…
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Misleading
All I ever made are poems of uncertainty
That keeps the pain more excruciating up to insanity
Where you play the part of an idiot
And get played over and over with no period
It’s getting irritating and rather a bit harsh
That your feelings are being stepped on and crushed
What kind of a person would you think that be?
Very unlikely to what she was before, too blind to see
I guess it’s really over
That the logic in waiting sours it’s cover
I guess this is the last blow
That I’ll start the path to vengeance really slow…
I have been mocked so much that it’s so beyond
And I hated it already and I want to be free from its bonds
That it’s already useless to continue…
That the life I lived before was already due
As I see that it’s the last stand I had
Things that I’ve seen and learn turned to be so bad…
Any normal person will be in revenge, in this state I am
Guess if you feel my pain, then this rage in me means I’m willing to be damned!
That keeps the pain more excruciating up to insanity
Where you play the part of an idiot
And get played over and over with no period
It’s getting irritating and rather a bit harsh
That your feelings are being stepped on and crushed
What kind of a person would you think that be?
Very unlikely to what she was before, too blind to see
I guess it’s really over
That the logic in waiting sours it’s cover
I guess this is the last blow
That I’ll start the path to vengeance really slow…
I have been mocked so much that it’s so beyond
And I hated it already and I want to be free from its bonds
That it’s already useless to continue…
That the life I lived before was already due
As I see that it’s the last stand I had
Things that I’ve seen and learn turned to be so bad…
Any normal person will be in revenge, in this state I am
Guess if you feel my pain, then this rage in me means I’m willing to be damned!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Remain
The shadow that was always behind me
The darkness it shows and made me see
Kept me dwelling to a path where good and evil exist
Balancing it with this two personalities in my list
The critic that smiles and laughs from my faults
The analyst that plans and decides every assault
Strategies that I play everyday in my mind
Where I need to be one step ahead, for life is not kind
As each moment that I give thought about it
I set myself things to plan and never quit!
The motivation I need everyday to become…
For this I can occupy the scenarios to come
Was goodbye a word to let go or to move on?
Either way it might sound the same, to withdrawn
In this vast possibilities in life that I think everyday
Makes me aware that it’s incontrollable in some ways
From this things I can predict and foresee
I can tell very well that I’m still falling, don’t you agree?
But it’s the only way I know that shows me I’m alive
Thou it’s a sad thing to know, it’s where I get my drive
The darkness it shows and made me see
Kept me dwelling to a path where good and evil exist
Balancing it with this two personalities in my list
The critic that smiles and laughs from my faults
The analyst that plans and decides every assault
Strategies that I play everyday in my mind
Where I need to be one step ahead, for life is not kind
As each moment that I give thought about it
I set myself things to plan and never quit!
The motivation I need everyday to become…
For this I can occupy the scenarios to come
Was goodbye a word to let go or to move on?
Either way it might sound the same, to withdrawn
In this vast possibilities in life that I think everyday
Makes me aware that it’s incontrollable in some ways
From this things I can predict and foresee
I can tell very well that I’m still falling, don’t you agree?
But it’s the only way I know that shows me I’m alive
Thou it’s a sad thing to know, it’s where I get my drive
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Blue Ether "Azure"
I've given you one of my names
Did you take good care of it?
May I have a word from you, that isn't goodbye?
The light comes as grains, and then as waves
You appear first as a bird, and then as the universe
You were always by my side
On that day when all that our smiles would have joined
Was connected in one harmony
I always wanted to be beside you
But no matter how I voiced my longing
It could not reach you
Azure, blue, blue journey
Neither offensive nor defensive,
These moderate feelings
That are somewhere right in between despair and hope...
The future is first feather-light, and then is lead
I appear to be water, and then I am flame
You were always by my side
Nearer than even love
On that day when everything was once warmth...
I wanted to be with you
But I was so far from you
That I couldn't even hear your music
a sad, sad, lonely travel...
Monday, June 7, 2010
ダイヤモンドのクレバス
神様に恋をしてた頃は
こんな別れが来るとは思ってなかったよ
もう二度と触れられないなら
せめて最後に もう一度抱きしめて欲しかったよ
It's a long long good-bye...
さよなら さよなら 何度だって
自分に 無上に 言い聞かせて
手を振るのは優しさだよね？
今 強さが欲しい
貴方に出会い STAR輝いて アタシが生まれて
愛すればこそ iあればこそ
希望のない
奇跡を待って どうなるの？
涙に滲む 惑星の瞬きは gone...
忘れない 貴方の温もりも
その優しさも 全て包んでくれた両手も
さよなら さよなら 愛しい人
貴方が いたから 歩いてこれた
ひとりなんかじゃなかったよね？
今 答えが欲しい
燃える様な流星 捕まえて 火を灯して
愛していたい 愛されてたい
冷えたカラダひとつで 世界は どうなるの？
張り続けてた 虚勢が溶けてく long for...
どうしてなの？ 涙溢れて 止められない
もし生まれ変わって また巡り会えるなら
その時もきっと アタシを見つけ出して
もう二度と離さないで 捕まえてて
ひとりじゃないと 囁いてほしい planet...
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Keeping it Together
Trying to foresee
Wanting to break free
The part where you always dream
But the pain’s so strong you scream
Living each day
Asking God why? And I pray…
I hoped to be renewed
But I was screwed
The things you cannot forget
Keeps on repeating on your fret
Songs, people, everything around
Makes it harder everyday to be profound
I wish to be someone else
To renounce everything and all fails
As I try to be strong
And try to prove you wrong!
Your mistakes that made me
Will be harvested and soon we’ll see
That everything has a price
And I promise I would be precise.
Wanting to break free
The part where you always dream
But the pain’s so strong you scream
Living each day
Asking God why? And I pray…
I hoped to be renewed
But I was screwed
The things you cannot forget
Keeps on repeating on your fret
Songs, people, everything around
Makes it harder everyday to be profound
I wish to be someone else
To renounce everything and all fails
As I try to be strong
And try to prove you wrong!
Your mistakes that made me
Will be harvested and soon we’ll see
That everything has a price
And I promise I would be precise.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
The Broken...
Another night that I cannot sleep
Thoughts of sadness kept in too deep
I’m so lost and still trying to survive
The life I had where I lost everything, still I’m alive
Sometimes I really want to die
Sometimes I dreamed that it was just a lie
That the mess, that was still in my head
Keeps on flashing back and has no end…
How I wish that I could forget…
That I never had been like this and now comes regret
If only I could see the future
Then I can play my life freely for sure!
But the things are real now
Really is a big factor, that asks me how?
When I hold to that life I had before…
Guess God has his ways of taking things back and it sores
Again I cannot stop to think, what was that about?
Why does it need to happen? And will there be bout?
Revenge is the first thing that flows into my mind
Vengeance served cold, guess that’s what I can find…
Thursday, May 20, 2010
The Long Wait… Frustrations…
Since when did I last heard you voice?
It seems like years, yet the day didn’t move an inch
To this point it made me no choice
When I was still startled yet I should have pinch
When your gone and left me behind
Plans we made slowly deteriorates
I cannot see the good in our relationship, you made me blind…
Blinded by the mistakes you done and turned me into hate
The love we used to have is slowly disappearing
Into the abyss, falling slowly, that has a bottomless pit
Where we see it all ends, I can no longer be daring
Because what you did close everything in a lid
I do loved you still, but you keep hurting me
That it was painful everyday for me to live on
And every word you said doesn’t makes sense, I cannot agree
You’re with someone else now facing new dawns
Still you say you love me?
How can that be? When you choose him over me?
That you disregard the years we had and just let it be…
How can we grow together if you can live without me?
It seems like years, yet the day didn’t move an inch
To this point it made me no choice
When I was still startled yet I should have pinch
When your gone and left me behind
Plans we made slowly deteriorates
I cannot see the good in our relationship, you made me blind…
Blinded by the mistakes you done and turned me into hate
The love we used to have is slowly disappearing
Into the abyss, falling slowly, that has a bottomless pit
Where we see it all ends, I can no longer be daring
Because what you did close everything in a lid
I do loved you still, but you keep hurting me
That it was painful everyday for me to live on
And every word you said doesn’t makes sense, I cannot agree
You’re with someone else now facing new dawns
Still you say you love me?
How can that be? When you choose him over me?
That you disregard the years we had and just let it be…
How can we grow together if you can live without me?
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
A Wave of Silence....
Each moment in what you may call solitude
Is my stand still, and I feel so helpless in this attitude
That when I’m all alone, the memories that made me gray
Starts to overflow and depression come’s into play.
The little bit and pieces of events that passed
They carry me in the midst of thoughts and everything clashed
My life I cannot describe as I can describe it before
As the sea of dreams starts to dry up and sinks to the ocean floor
When you feel you’ve lost that very important thing in your life
That it cannot be replaced in just a matter of strife
Freaking out and almost loosing once self, knowing it’s gone
Insanity and reality seems hard to define as they become one
It’s not what everyone wants to hurdle in their lives
That every time you look at the mirror, you tend to lose your drive
Seeing that you went through hell and came back
Changes you in so many ways that redemption can make you crack
That sometimes you can think of evil things up to the very edge
Like selling your soul to the devil and be damned to get revenge
Still I’m trying calming my self not to do hasty things
For that if I did, I’ll be just like them, swallowed to the rings of hell as it may bring…
Is my stand still, and I feel so helpless in this attitude
That when I’m all alone, the memories that made me gray
Starts to overflow and depression come’s into play.
The little bit and pieces of events that passed
They carry me in the midst of thoughts and everything clashed
My life I cannot describe as I can describe it before
As the sea of dreams starts to dry up and sinks to the ocean floor
When you feel you’ve lost that very important thing in your life
That it cannot be replaced in just a matter of strife
Freaking out and almost loosing once self, knowing it’s gone
Insanity and reality seems hard to define as they become one
It’s not what everyone wants to hurdle in their lives
That every time you look at the mirror, you tend to lose your drive
Seeing that you went through hell and came back
Changes you in so many ways that redemption can make you crack
That sometimes you can think of evil things up to the very edge
Like selling your soul to the devil and be damned to get revenge
Still I’m trying calming my self not to do hasty things
For that if I did, I’ll be just like them, swallowed to the rings of hell as it may bring…
Sunday, May 9, 2010
PoeM fOr mE..................
As I start to make myself at ease
Just to feel comfort from this leash
Events that went and my new beginning
The agony that still lingers from within
Facts in life that I had learned
Stepping stones for me to earn
Actions that was taken in each decision
The results that made a bad impression
I for one cannot even tell
The things that might be unsuspected to fell
I’m just me, making my way through life
Simple and ordinary but can cope up in hype
I see a lot of opportunities in this pace
But still… I need someone to get me back in the race
I want somebody to share my dreams with…
Someone I can trust and is always there when I bleed
When will be the day of independence and liberation?
The one thing that stops me from motion
When will the hole that was created in my heart disappear?
Like an arrow that went in and out so clear
As I see my days with no hope and despair
Someone take me away and have memories to share…
Because what is success if your alone?
For it’s the path to loneliness when your on your own…
Just to feel comfort from this leash
Events that went and my new beginning
The agony that still lingers from within
Facts in life that I had learned
Stepping stones for me to earn
Actions that was taken in each decision
The results that made a bad impression
I for one cannot even tell
The things that might be unsuspected to fell
I’m just me, making my way through life
Simple and ordinary but can cope up in hype
I see a lot of opportunities in this pace
But still… I need someone to get me back in the race
I want somebody to share my dreams with…
Someone I can trust and is always there when I bleed
When will be the day of independence and liberation?
The one thing that stops me from motion
When will the hole that was created in my heart disappear?
Like an arrow that went in and out so clear
As I see my days with no hope and despair
Someone take me away and have memories to share…
Because what is success if your alone?
For it’s the path to loneliness when your on your own…
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
If Only...
Sumtimes i wanna stop loving...
Just to stop the hurting...
Sumtimes i wanna be someone else
To try another life and make sum sense
Now i really understand that u don't need me
That i was a problem 2 u from the very start.
I'm Sorry if i had displeased or hurt u
It will never happen again for this will be the end
Sorry i was so persistent and nostalgic
you won't hear anything from me from now on.
I only wish that you would be fine in all u do
and Always take care like i always tell u...
The life i had b4 was so great, that it had to end...
An Event that i haven't foreseen that crushed me to bent
Maybe it's not the ryt time for me to love again...
I'm sorry to had mislead u then.
But what i said b4 was true...
I had fallen and already in loved with u
now as i say gudbye... i hold this feelings and suppress it inside
for it was my reasons for actions to move closer to u.
Just to stop the hurting...
Sumtimes i wanna be someone else
To try another life and make sum sense
Now i really understand that u don't need me
That i was a problem 2 u from the very start.
I'm Sorry if i had displeased or hurt u
It will never happen again for this will be the end
Sorry i was so persistent and nostalgic
you won't hear anything from me from now on.
I only wish that you would be fine in all u do
and Always take care like i always tell u...
The life i had b4 was so great, that it had to end...
An Event that i haven't foreseen that crushed me to bent
Maybe it's not the ryt time for me to love again...
I'm sorry to had mislead u then.
But what i said b4 was true...
I had fallen and already in loved with u
now as i say gudbye... i hold this feelings and suppress it inside
for it was my reasons for actions to move closer to u.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Single as One...
Venturing life again hmm…., maybe fun… we’ll see
The time where you can be you… but sometimes can be so blue…
A journey again to search what was lost and setting one self to be free
This may be my reasons, after the end of my first chapter…
2nd Chapter… hmm… cannot make any out of it yet….
I have a lot of plans and dreams, but I want someone to share it with
But as far as I can see… maybe I don’t need someone yet…
I must focus first on my self from now on… I guess…
I used to be so dependent to the one that controls my life…
That I have gotten so used to it, that I was ok with it all of the time
I never thought or imagined this day would come…
That the love I kept for so long will be lost in just a blink of an eye….
Before I ask God, of all the things that you would take away from me….
I would allow it, just spare the person that I truly care about…
But I guess God took her away because I was so obsessed with her…
Now she’s gone and I’m here alone… wondering and still hurt…
Moving and facing each day… has been so different than before
You can always see the broken dreams and memories you recall
As this vortex of anxiety, pain, and depression consumes me
I just try to be strong and keep moving on… till I can reach my goals
Single as one as I may be… to the world they may never see
That being me in this point I’m in, is so very unhealthy
That I really really really… want someone to take my life…
Because everyday, when I remember what happened… the pain kills me inside…slowly you would wish that you want to die…
The time where you can be you… but sometimes can be so blue…
A journey again to search what was lost and setting one self to be free
This may be my reasons, after the end of my first chapter…
2nd Chapter… hmm… cannot make any out of it yet….
I have a lot of plans and dreams, but I want someone to share it with
But as far as I can see… maybe I don’t need someone yet…
I must focus first on my self from now on… I guess…
I used to be so dependent to the one that controls my life…
That I have gotten so used to it, that I was ok with it all of the time
I never thought or imagined this day would come…
That the love I kept for so long will be lost in just a blink of an eye….
Before I ask God, of all the things that you would take away from me….
I would allow it, just spare the person that I truly care about…
But I guess God took her away because I was so obsessed with her…
Now she’s gone and I’m here alone… wondering and still hurt…
Moving and facing each day… has been so different than before
You can always see the broken dreams and memories you recall
As this vortex of anxiety, pain, and depression consumes me
I just try to be strong and keep moving on… till I can reach my goals
Single as one as I may be… to the world they may never see
That being me in this point I’m in, is so very unhealthy
That I really really really… want someone to take my life…
Because everyday, when I remember what happened… the pain kills me inside…slowly you would wish that you want to die…
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Can i B uRs?
the things that circles my mind...
is you... thats wat i always find
a day with out your smile
i would walk to see you even if its a mile...
i never tot i wud fall for u...
that i can make poems of love again to say i do
i know im not in the place to say this 2 u...
but i want u 2 know how i feel 4 u...
im just a simple guy with nothing to boast
nothing to give, just love letters in a post
i only have my words to make u belive me
that i keep them like promises because this things r important 2 me
i know that when it comes to love... i become dumb...
i dunno wat to do and sumtyms wat to say...
i can only hope that this poem can tell u a little bit about me...
and express wat i can't say... whenever im with you...
i was closing my self to everyone b4
because i tot love again wud just walk out of my door
i placed my self in a box so i wud be alone
then u came along, i tot i wud be out of this zone...
still im glad to have met u, the person i really adore
that i keep on looking at ur pics and i wanna see u more...
all i wanted to say, is can i be yours if its ok...
i wont be a burden nor a problem, i will just obey. ^_^
is you... thats wat i always find
a day with out your smile
i would walk to see you even if its a mile...
i never tot i wud fall for u...
that i can make poems of love again to say i do
i know im not in the place to say this 2 u...
but i want u 2 know how i feel 4 u...
im just a simple guy with nothing to boast
nothing to give, just love letters in a post
i only have my words to make u belive me
that i keep them like promises because this things r important 2 me
i know that when it comes to love... i become dumb...
i dunno wat to do and sumtyms wat to say...
i can only hope that this poem can tell u a little bit about me...
and express wat i can't say... whenever im with you...
i was closing my self to everyone b4
because i tot love again wud just walk out of my door
i placed my self in a box so i wud be alone
then u came along, i tot i wud be out of this zone...
still im glad to have met u, the person i really adore
that i keep on looking at ur pics and i wanna see u more...
all i wanted to say, is can i be yours if its ok...
i wont be a burden nor a problem, i will just obey. ^_^
Thursday, April 15, 2010
I Let Go...
I know this is hard to begin with, but it has to come out…
That the thing that you tried to save was really not there even if you shout!
When love has dried up and stops to flow
Can’t even fool your self anymore and it really shows…
Poems I make represent a piece of me
A part where I express my self for everyone to see…
As this one carries out the task of giving up
It’s not my fault or my mistake to stir this cup
I gave you chances to redeem and come back
Gave you reasons to see that it’s gonna be back on track
But what did you do? You’ve fooled me… all those years and months…
I thought you would change for good, that’s what I want
My heart was crushed so badly that I almost wanted to die
The pain was unimaginable that I can’t stop to cry
I shouted out and made my self bleed, just to transfer the pain I feel
I was so lost at those times, so much hurt can’t heal…
This day is marked in my calendar
I will always remember forever like a scar
That I was once so dependent and weak
To that person I once loved so much before, it so antique
To start a new beginning that’s what I may call it
Where everything develops from scratches and stone splits
I have to rearrange what is left in me
To foresee the task I must do in order to stop this plea
Now as this ends, with the final words
The goodbyes and take care, it may seem absurd
But what do we learn from this? Life constantly change
No matter how many you choose from, you will find your self empty when you’ve chosen the wrong one…
That the thing that you tried to save was really not there even if you shout!
When love has dried up and stops to flow
Can’t even fool your self anymore and it really shows…
Poems I make represent a piece of me
A part where I express my self for everyone to see…
As this one carries out the task of giving up
It’s not my fault or my mistake to stir this cup
I gave you chances to redeem and come back
Gave you reasons to see that it’s gonna be back on track
But what did you do? You’ve fooled me… all those years and months…
I thought you would change for good, that’s what I want
My heart was crushed so badly that I almost wanted to die
The pain was unimaginable that I can’t stop to cry
I shouted out and made my self bleed, just to transfer the pain I feel
I was so lost at those times, so much hurt can’t heal…
This day is marked in my calendar
I will always remember forever like a scar
That I was once so dependent and weak
To that person I once loved so much before, it so antique
To start a new beginning that’s what I may call it
Where everything develops from scratches and stone splits
I have to rearrange what is left in me
To foresee the task I must do in order to stop this plea
Now as this ends, with the final words
The goodbyes and take care, it may seem absurd
But what do we learn from this? Life constantly change
No matter how many you choose from, you will find your self empty when you’ve chosen the wrong one…
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Someone… Reach Out….
Trying to live in the world we are all in
Where everyone experiences in scenes…
The part where everything seems unclear
And can’t calm and sleep for holding someone so dear.
A reason for every action is what I always say
To which I can find logical answers to each and every God Forsaken day
I’m already fed up to the feeling that pushes me down
That all I wanted was someone I can lean on to my frowns.
Maybe this is the time where I will go on solo
And find out what I need to complete my cargo
Will some out there help me to ease the pain I have
That I’m giving my self away, needing someone to love
I thought I was alright and fine with being alone
But I was still looking for a place to call my home.
I thought I would be strong and guess I could move on…
But I was not… that I cannot stop my self to cry when I’m in the loneliest tune
The songs I learned to sing before that I didn’t knew I could relate
Are now the songs I sing every time I feel sad and almost ready to break
This maybe what I was destined for, a very big major set back
I can only endure this situation, until someone pulls me out of this box I’m in…
Where everyone experiences in scenes…
The part where everything seems unclear
And can’t calm and sleep for holding someone so dear.
A reason for every action is what I always say
To which I can find logical answers to each and every God Forsaken day
I’m already fed up to the feeling that pushes me down
That all I wanted was someone I can lean on to my frowns.
Maybe this is the time where I will go on solo
And find out what I need to complete my cargo
Will some out there help me to ease the pain I have
That I’m giving my self away, needing someone to love
I thought I was alright and fine with being alone
But I was still looking for a place to call my home.
I thought I would be strong and guess I could move on…
But I was not… that I cannot stop my self to cry when I’m in the loneliest tune
The songs I learned to sing before that I didn’t knew I could relate
Are now the songs I sing every time I feel sad and almost ready to break
This maybe what I was destined for, a very big major set back
I can only endure this situation, until someone pulls me out of this box I’m in…
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Up's and Down's Love...
In this path I took with no assurance
The action to be done has no insurance
When will it be the same like the days before?
That all I ever wanted was to complete my core
Days pass… it was fun and great!
Love bloom and also hate
But love is not love without pain
For it makes love strong and not in vain
The things we did that brought us here
Are the reasons why we are in love so clear…
When we have arguments we tend to be high and mighty
But deep inside we're breaking and can’t bear already
When we feel tired of the fights we had
And ours hearts has been weary of being too sad
Can’t we just comfort each other in a complementing way?
Because that’s the meaning of us being together everyday
Now that we overcome another trial
And no problems arise again and please no denial
That we love each other though we are so different
Which makes us who we are and make’s it significant.
The action to be done has no insurance
When will it be the same like the days before?
That all I ever wanted was to complete my core
Days pass… it was fun and great!
Love bloom and also hate
But love is not love without pain
For it makes love strong and not in vain
The things we did that brought us here
Are the reasons why we are in love so clear…
When we have arguments we tend to be high and mighty
But deep inside we're breaking and can’t bear already
When we feel tired of the fights we had
And ours hearts has been weary of being too sad
Can’t we just comfort each other in a complementing way?
Because that’s the meaning of us being together everyday
Now that we overcome another trial
And no problems arise again and please no denial
That we love each other though we are so different
Which makes us who we are and make’s it significant.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Devoted Love
When we cannot figure out what’s wrong
And the love we had, just can’t sing a love song
It doesn’t work out at first because of the standards we want
We want it to be as perfect as it is but we always taunt…
It’s a part of learning to love the person that gives you importance
And knowing someone will always be there to prove your existence
What if we can just be friends as you said… for starters
And begin again so we can learn to know each other better…
I think this will work out, and my apologies if I have been so closed minded to that fact
That I was so blind to see you’re making a way for us, I was so abstract…
I’m sorry and forgive me if I did wrong things to you in the long run…
I know your still angry at me, but still… you kept me around ^_^
You never closed your door for me, and I know you want me to redeem myself
And I’ll try to make you see, that I loved you so much that it can’t be helped
It’s what I really feel, and it’s better that I’m always by your side
Than being far away from you, that I know I would have died…
Thanks for the time and effort in understanding me…. ^_^
And I loved you for doing that, and that shows I mean a lot to you
You know that I’m still loving you… even thou you don’t want me to show it
But instead I will let you feel it, because I want to be with you…
And the love we had, just can’t sing a love song
It doesn’t work out at first because of the standards we want
We want it to be as perfect as it is but we always taunt…
It’s a part of learning to love the person that gives you importance
And knowing someone will always be there to prove your existence
What if we can just be friends as you said… for starters
And begin again so we can learn to know each other better…
I think this will work out, and my apologies if I have been so closed minded to that fact
That I was so blind to see you’re making a way for us, I was so abstract…
I’m sorry and forgive me if I did wrong things to you in the long run…
I know your still angry at me, but still… you kept me around ^_^
You never closed your door for me, and I know you want me to redeem myself
And I’ll try to make you see, that I loved you so much that it can’t be helped
It’s what I really feel, and it’s better that I’m always by your side
Than being far away from you, that I know I would have died…
Thanks for the time and effort in understanding me…. ^_^
And I loved you for doing that, and that shows I mean a lot to you
You know that I’m still loving you… even thou you don’t want me to show it
But instead I will let you feel it, because I want to be with you…
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
My new found life
Facing each day before was hard
Looking in the past, faces and places
I never thought that I could love again, being shard
But you came along and erased the sad traces
I may not be the perfect man you wanted
I may be just a friend for you
But in all I did it was true, and all the words I said…
The feeling that kept me moving towards you
I am still making my way through life
And having you is what I have been longing
You have been my strength that keeps me in flight
The only person who I’ve been dreaming
Thanks for making me whole again
That I can be myself and loving me for who I’ am
I’m not good at words and seems to frown and vain
Still… I fallen head over heels for you…
To love you now is my mission
To take me and be yours will be your decision
And all this time I have been with you, it only shows…
My new found life is you…
Looking in the past, faces and places
I never thought that I could love again, being shard
But you came along and erased the sad traces
I may not be the perfect man you wanted
I may be just a friend for you
But in all I did it was true, and all the words I said…
The feeling that kept me moving towards you
I am still making my way through life
And having you is what I have been longing
You have been my strength that keeps me in flight
The only person who I’ve been dreaming
Thanks for making me whole again
That I can be myself and loving me for who I’ am
I’m not good at words and seems to frown and vain
Still… I fallen head over heels for you…
To love you now is my mission
To take me and be yours will be your decision
And all this time I have been with you, it only shows…
My new found life is you…
Friday, January 29, 2010
Perseverance of Hate
Till the day that I have over come what I feel inside
That will be the day I triumph against the helplessness I’m in
I’m, not that strong in changes that might occur
I’m still waiting for the right time to make it someday
I try to prove that I can live without you
As I release the ache I kept for so long
My self I feel brand new when I have forgotten
The feeling I had for you once before…
You change my heart to a cold frozen icicle
I won’t be the same person that you knew
May be I’ll be more tougher and stronger
That my feelings for you will disappear faster
That will be the day I triumph against the helplessness I’m in
I’m, not that strong in changes that might occur
I’m still waiting for the right time to make it someday
I try to prove that I can live without you
As I release the ache I kept for so long
My self I feel brand new when I have forgotten
The feeling I had for you once before…
You change my heart to a cold frozen icicle
I won’t be the same person that you knew
May be I’ll be more tougher and stronger
That my feelings for you will disappear faster
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Pieces of Me
As I see the sun rises outside my window
A new day starts for me, but still I’m hollow
The very reason that I exist before is gone
With all the memories stops to begun…
Was this really to happen? I ask myself
Did I not make moves to counter and assert oneself?
The efforts I made was all in vain
Now here I am crushed and living in pain…
To this degree that has took its toll on me
I lost everything in just a blink of an eye…
The very most important part of me died
Broke down every single piece and can’t stop to cry
Why is this had to happen? When all I did is to love?
Was my love not enough that you found someone else?
Is the love you said, all these time was not true?
Did the years we shared…are just mere feelings?
I got a lot of thing right now
And I cannot carry on with our vows
So now as I let go…
I found somebody new to make me whole…
A new day starts for me, but still I’m hollow
The very reason that I exist before is gone
With all the memories stops to begun…
Was this really to happen? I ask myself
Did I not make moves to counter and assert oneself?
The efforts I made was all in vain
Now here I am crushed and living in pain…
To this degree that has took its toll on me
I lost everything in just a blink of an eye…
The very most important part of me died
Broke down every single piece and can’t stop to cry
Why is this had to happen? When all I did is to love?
Was my love not enough that you found someone else?
Is the love you said, all these time was not true?
Did the years we shared…are just mere feelings?
I got a lot of thing right now
And I cannot carry on with our vows
So now as I let go…
I found somebody new to make me whole…
Thursday, January 21, 2010
RDDAMR
You’re the first person that comes in to my mind
That I can’t seem to forget
I love to see you everyday, and see your smiles
You make me forget my worries and fears
I never thought that you were always there
That before we are just like strangers
I was trying to keep myself in a box
But you reach out to me and help me out
I was not aware that the days we spent…
I would fall for you, and loved you
I haven’t proven anything yet, but still…
I’ll be here for you, if you need me
My life has a meaning, now that I found you
That I was not so sure of the days ahead before…
If I swore my loyalty to you, will you keep it?
If I’ll be your lover, will you be my lifetime partner?
These are the things that run into my mind
And you’re on the very least of it all
You have become my priority one
The most valuable person to me, next to my self…
That I can’t seem to forget
I love to see you everyday, and see your smiles
You make me forget my worries and fears
I never thought that you were always there
That before we are just like strangers
I was trying to keep myself in a box
But you reach out to me and help me out
I was not aware that the days we spent…
I would fall for you, and loved you
I haven’t proven anything yet, but still…
I’ll be here for you, if you need me
My life has a meaning, now that I found you
That I was not so sure of the days ahead before…
If I swore my loyalty to you, will you keep it?
If I’ll be your lover, will you be my lifetime partner?
These are the things that run into my mind
And you’re on the very least of it all
You have become my priority one
The most valuable person to me, next to my self…
Monday, January 18, 2010
Ache of a Million Heart Break
When the days was as good as it could get
That it seems to never stop
And all the things you cannot forget
Then all of a sudden, it all disappears and drops…
A reality that I’m experiencing
To which I wasn’t prepared to face
And the pieces of me scattered and here I am drowning
In this pain that I am dwelling… losing my base…
To this moment I still can’t believe
The turn of events that went and the decision made
I feel like I was abandoned and betrayed
That my worth was nothing to the years I encountered
Now in despair that swallowed me
That I cannot break free
Trying to live like nothing has happened
And acting like a clown to rid of this decree
You’ll never feel the exact emotion I’m having
And all the dreams that has been broken
They still linger in my head and wondering
Is this the way love ends to start a new? Still… unspoken…
That it seems to never stop
And all the things you cannot forget
Then all of a sudden, it all disappears and drops…
A reality that I’m experiencing
To which I wasn’t prepared to face
And the pieces of me scattered and here I am drowning
In this pain that I am dwelling… losing my base…
To this moment I still can’t believe
The turn of events that went and the decision made
I feel like I was abandoned and betrayed
That my worth was nothing to the years I encountered
Now in despair that swallowed me
That I cannot break free
Trying to live like nothing has happened
And acting like a clown to rid of this decree
You’ll never feel the exact emotion I’m having
And all the dreams that has been broken
They still linger in my head and wondering
Is this the way love ends to start a new? Still… unspoken…
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Meaningless
As I continue the travel in life
I ask my self, are you still all right?
When love is gone and I’m still holding on
Was I to blame or should I start to frown?
Expectations seem not so good anymore
That it’s really nothing to me, unlike before
I think I’m changing. But I don’t want to
For if I change, I’ll be somebody new…
I know that I’m really hurting inside
Everyday I endure to stay in this fight
When will I find my happiness?
When will this ache disappear? I’m so stressed
Life without you I can’t imagine
But still you’re pushing me to this point I’m in…
You can’t blame me if sometimes I just want to die
Because the pain each day, really kills me inside…
You said you love me, but what are you still doing?
You said that I’m the only one and still nothing…
I don’t want to live like this, do you want me to like this?
If one day comes that I have already died… don’t tell me I didn’t warn you…
I ask my self, are you still all right?
When love is gone and I’m still holding on
Was I to blame or should I start to frown?
Expectations seem not so good anymore
That it’s really nothing to me, unlike before
I think I’m changing. But I don’t want to
For if I change, I’ll be somebody new…
I know that I’m really hurting inside
Everyday I endure to stay in this fight
When will I find my happiness?
When will this ache disappear? I’m so stressed
Life without you I can’t imagine
But still you’re pushing me to this point I’m in…
You can’t blame me if sometimes I just want to die
Because the pain each day, really kills me inside…
You said you love me, but what are you still doing?
You said that I’m the only one and still nothing…
I don’t want to live like this, do you want me to like this?
If one day comes that I have already died… don’t tell me I didn’t warn you…
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
The New Start
New Year has started and new events had happened
The person that has been always on top has fallen down
The trust has been broken…
A lot of hurt cause too much pain to complicate
Is the New Year a new beginning of a new chapter?
Guess I will never know…
Will this be fruitful or becomes more worst than it is?
Hopefully things will go as planned…
I’m not gonna hope too much because I did that already
And it was not good... disappointments, etc, etc…
It was the most painful thing ever
That it cannot be compared to anything I had experienced
A new life maybe awaits me now… that it still lingers
That the defeat I had, left a scar and can never be removed
And the actions that took place will never be change
With all this happened so fast you cannot react
It will be a year full of pain
And I’m already preparing myself for the worst
That it will be the part where all that started
Will come to its end….
The person that has been always on top has fallen down
The trust has been broken…
A lot of hurt cause too much pain to complicate
Is the New Year a new beginning of a new chapter?
Guess I will never know…
Will this be fruitful or becomes more worst than it is?
Hopefully things will go as planned…
I’m not gonna hope too much because I did that already
And it was not good... disappointments, etc, etc…
It was the most painful thing ever
That it cannot be compared to anything I had experienced
A new life maybe awaits me now… that it still lingers
That the defeat I had, left a scar and can never be removed
And the actions that took place will never be change
With all this happened so fast you cannot react
It will be a year full of pain
And I’m already preparing myself for the worst
That it will be the part where all that started
Will come to its end….
Monday, January 4, 2010
The Exchange
Now as I try to hold on in what is left
I traded position with the man I have hated
The owner becomes the renter for short
This is a big mockery for me, but in the name of love I will sacrifice
This will be the first time I will play this part
But as long as I still hold dearly what I have left
That will be my remaining strength to go on
And pursue the last remaining dreams I have in me…
This will be difficult, but for the one I love…. I will
May be this is how I should repay the mistakes I done before
And the problems I cause has catching up on me
The karma I guess is now on it’s toll
The anxiety has disappeared a bit… or maybe I’ve gotten use to it already
The paranoia still lingers but not that much anymore
I maybe becoming numb now because I can’t feel pain anymore
That I was crushed so hard that I can tolerate it.
Will this change someday?... hopefully maybe…
For now I must do my best to fix my life and worry less about anything
And plan my next move, this will be a long term goal
But as long as it takes me to where she is that’s the least of my concern!
I traded position with the man I have hated
The owner becomes the renter for short
This is a big mockery for me, but in the name of love I will sacrifice
This will be the first time I will play this part
But as long as I still hold dearly what I have left
That will be my remaining strength to go on
And pursue the last remaining dreams I have in me…
This will be difficult, but for the one I love…. I will
May be this is how I should repay the mistakes I done before
And the problems I cause has catching up on me
The karma I guess is now on it’s toll
The anxiety has disappeared a bit… or maybe I’ve gotten use to it already
The paranoia still lingers but not that much anymore
I maybe becoming numb now because I can’t feel pain anymore
That I was crushed so hard that I can tolerate it.
Will this change someday?... hopefully maybe…
For now I must do my best to fix my life and worry less about anything
And plan my next move, this will be a long term goal
But as long as it takes me to where she is that’s the least of my concern!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Betrayed and Lied
In this state of mind I’m in.
I think I can already kill
I don’t care anymore of the results
As long as I kill this person
I don’t mind going to jail
And be imprisoned for life
Nor be sentence to death as well
As long as I kill this person
I never felt this pain in my life
So the only thing that can release me from this
Is I have killed that person that cause this in me
I can never forgive this act
Even you in my place would feel the same way
This is now my vendetta
As to my life I have no more care
To kill is my only option now
Hatred and anger is what I have
That makes me stronger day by day
As I hold this anxiety someday you would feel
Death and pain, all in one I will lay upon you!
I think I can already kill
I don’t care anymore of the results
As long as I kill this person
I don’t mind going to jail
And be imprisoned for life
Nor be sentence to death as well
As long as I kill this person
I never felt this pain in my life
So the only thing that can release me from this
Is I have killed that person that cause this in me
I can never forgive this act
Even you in my place would feel the same way
This is now my vendetta
As to my life I have no more care
To kill is my only option now
Hatred and anger is what I have
That makes me stronger day by day
As I hold this anxiety someday you would feel
Death and pain, all in one I will lay upon you!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
