The New Start

New Year has started and new events had happened
The person that has been always on top has fallen down
The trust has been broken…
A lot of hurt cause too much pain to complicate

Is the New Year a new beginning of a new chapter?
Guess I will never know…
Will this be fruitful or becomes more worst than it is?
Hopefully things will go as planned…

I’m not gonna hope too much because I did that already
And it was not good... disappointments, etc, etc…
It was the most painful thing ever
That it cannot be compared to anything I had experienced

A new life maybe awaits me now… that it still lingers
That the defeat I had, left a scar and can never be removed
And the actions that took place will never be change
With all this happened so fast you cannot react

It will be a year full of pain
And I’m already preparing myself for the worst
That it will be the part where all that started
Will come to its end….

The Exchange

Now as I try to hold on in what is left
I traded position with the man I have hated
The owner becomes the renter for short
This is a big mockery for me, but in the name of love I will sacrifice

This will be the first time I will play this part
But as long as I still hold dearly what I have left
That will be my remaining strength to go on
And pursue the last remaining dreams I have in me…

This will be difficult, but for the one I love…. I will
May be this is how I should repay the mistakes I done before
And the problems I cause has catching up on me
The karma I guess is now on it’s toll

The anxiety has disappeared a bit… or maybe I’ve gotten use to it already
The paranoia still lingers but not that much anymore
I maybe becoming numb now because I can’t feel pain anymore
That I was crushed so hard that I can tolerate it.

Will this change someday?... hopefully maybe…
For now I must do my best to fix my life and worry less about anything
And plan my next move, this will be a long term goal
But as long as it takes me to where she is that’s the least of my concern!

Betrayed and Lied

In this state of mind I’m in.
I think I can already kill
I don’t care anymore of the results
As long as I kill this person

I don’t mind going to jail
And be imprisoned for life
Nor be sentence to death as well
As long as I kill this person

I never felt this pain in my life
So the only thing that can release me from this
Is I have killed that person that cause this in me
I can never forgive this act

Even you in my place would feel the same way
This is now my vendetta
As to my life I have no more care
To kill is my only option now

Hatred and anger is what I have
That makes me stronger day by day
As I hold this anxiety someday you would feel
Death and pain, all in one I will lay upon you!

My Unexpected Friend

I found someone whom I guess made an impression on me
The feelings I get when we talk feels so lively
Never thought that I would knew her, when we first talked
She was a bit feisty and I thought I was in trouble…

I didn’t knew that she was gonna be so cautious
Didn’t expect that I would also be dazzle with her as well
Got to know each other a little better with a simple hi and hello’s
Then after that, we constantly chit chat about our usual days

Topics, anything under the sun, seems so endless
We laugh our hearts out like we were the only two crazy people in the world
We got to knew a bit of each other's personality
Which I guess was great to understand each other more completely

Days pass and its Christmas eve!
Haven’t been talking because of some occasions and gatherings
I suddenly remembered that I have not been in touch with her
I miss the things we talk about and how our days were

So still I made it to a point to greet her on Christmas eve
Even thou she’s not around hehehe!
And now it’s almost the end of the year, I thought it would be clear
That the person I knew is the person I will remember forever.

The Turmoil In me

As the day consume me with anxiety
I saw the future flew outside the window
The memories we share just been buried lately
As the whole of my existence stop its flow

The hours seems so long to wait
The seconds and minutes feel like forever
When all the things had been said and done, it must be faith
Expecting that all might fall in the right place, that wasn’t clever

I didn’t saw it coming, hit me head on and crush so hard!
That I was still in a trance that I was still living the dream
Never expected to be like this, and I lost my thrump card
I had nothing more in me, I been empty and lost the reward

As my head moves and look s up in the sky
I see the same sky that I had been with for so long
But now the sky I did touch and hold before just flied
Out of my grasp and cannot have it anymore…

To this it was my fault, I made mistakes and now it’s catching up
May be karma or I have been to easy go luck in my life
A careless brat that didn’t cared enough for the future
And now it eats me inside out, that I guess even I cannot shout!

Trying to escape Love

I found this girl, sweet and a bit kind…
She’s sometimes feisty and sometimes too mild…
I thought that I would enjoy being with her
So we got our schedules all mixed up in a blur

Day goes by and I found her to be funny
She makes me smile and she wants me as her honey
To that I was surprise can’t think fast
I agreed and the rest came tumbling down in a blast

The first few days was fun and I enjoyed a lot
But my conscience struck and it made a dot
That I know someday I will leave her
I can’t promise to be here forever

As this thoughts cross my mind I ask my self…
Will I stop and forget her like a book in a shelf
Or will I continue to fool her that I’m gonna be here…
In this dilemma of choice, its so unclear

That this is not right, I fallen to the light
She caught me off guard when we become one…
Now these anxiety craws in the back of my mind
Shall we split? Can’t find the reason to go, I’m too kind…

A Part Time Lover

As to this may seem not fair
To be a person with two partners to care
When all that happen in just a single night
Can’t be prolong with just a single fight.

It’s really fun and exciting from the start
The dating and flirting the throbbing of the heart
Things that makes it more interesting
Is that you found someone that can be so daring.

First things first in this situation
Plan every single move to evade deception
Because you may never know what she has in mind?
That it might be something you might find…

In the game of love you had been betting on…
Feeling and emotions to gamble with a single frown
This circumstance has always a bad ending
But it’s up to you to handle this bidding.

If a time comes that you would be found out
You better be prepared for the dialogues to mount
Complications arises when a dilemma is met
The choosing and loosing will be set.