To Regain, Restrain, or Release?

Another night of restlessness
Planning my moves carefully into goodness
Can’t hardly sleep at night…
So busy thinking, it’s almost daylight

My mind speaks a lot, even in the darkness
It’s like telling me to charge in and break the fortress..
I tried to rest all my worries for me to relax
But to no avail, it keeps on and on to the max!

A lot of things cloud my mind…
But thank God for that I can forget and be blind
The small factors that assist me in my life
Are now the essentials that I need in this fight

As I venture the path I have taken
Mostly it’s hard to hold back everything, being half awakened
For I know now the true nature of this ordeal
That one mistake leads to another and you become evil

So now as I try to make amends with myself I ask…
Will this be your notion for success, mixing this flask?
Shall this be my key to start a new, like they always bash!
Or will I not… or shall I not… because my mind say’s I want to clash!

A Lier Till the End...

When you have thought of fooling someone
Could you have at least think twice?
That it’s gonna turn something from here… to gone…
A mistake unforgivable to anyone, because that’s the price

A stupid judgment of something that shouldn’t be done
For it leads to pain and hatred, the path of a damned
Didn’t thought about it so I was just toyed for fun
I gave trust and now betrayal was renounced

Now I sought for vengeance more eagerly
Waiting and planning for that day to arrive
I gone through it many times so don’t take me lightly
The agony of suffering I endured, I’ll give it back 10x till I die!

For that will make me contented from losing
No regrets and remorse for your so deserving
You made me like this so don’t wonder why
I’ll show you death when we cross our time

For you already know what you just did
So you’re ready for the consequences to be fulfilled
I promise to make you pay till I see you bleed
Because that would be my happiness my true self will be reviled!

Reminiscing…

I was still fine when I last remembered
The feeling of fearing nothing even death
I was full of life and the days were so colored
Each moment was nothing like the air I breathe

The sun was always up and I have my smile
Factor that make’s you stand out in a crowd
Even the simple things I treasure was my style
And small pieces of memories I keep makes me proud

I was always fulfilled and I could not ask for anything
When times that I have nothing, I didn’t even care!
Now as I look at my life when I lost that thing
The dark clouds started to appear and now life is not fare

The calmness I once had was loosen with just a single blast
And the rage and anger overcome every part of me
That I cannot imagine that this was going to happen so fast!
I made a mistake in choosing and now it’s what I see…

I must now live with the pain of being betrayed
That it’s the start of a new beginning
In this world of unpredicted events that I hated
I only hope that the path I take would be more fulfilling…

Misleading

All I ever made are poems of uncertainty
That keeps the pain more excruciating up to insanity
Where you play the part of an idiot
And get played over and over with no period

It’s getting irritating and rather a bit harsh
That your feelings are being stepped on and crushed
What kind of a person would you think that be?
Very unlikely to what she was before, too blind to see

I guess it’s really over
That the logic in waiting sours it’s cover
I guess this is the last blow
That I’ll start the path to vengeance really slow…

I have been mocked so much that it’s so beyond
And I hated it already and I want to be free from its bonds
That it’s already useless to continue…
That the life I lived before was already due

As I see that it’s the last stand I had
Things that I’ve seen and learn turned to be so bad…
Any normal person will be in revenge, in this state I am
Guess if you feel my pain, then this rage in me means I’m willing to be damned!

Remain

The shadow that was always behind me
The darkness it shows and made me see
Kept me dwelling to a path where good and evil exist
Balancing it with this two personalities in my list

The critic that smiles and laughs from my faults
The analyst that plans and decides every assault
Strategies that I play everyday in my mind
Where I need to be one step ahead, for life is not kind

As each moment that I give thought about it
I set myself things to plan and never quit!
The motivation I need everyday to become…
For this I can occupy the scenarios to come

Was goodbye a word to let go or to move on?
Either way it might sound the same, to withdrawn
In this vast possibilities in life that I think everyday
Makes me aware that it’s incontrollable in some ways

From this things I can predict and foresee
I can tell very well that I’m still falling, don’t you agree?
But it’s the only way I know that shows me I’m alive
Thou it’s a sad thing to know, it’s where I get my drive

Blue Ether "Azure"

I've given you one of my names
Did you take good care of it?
May I have a word from you, that isn't goodbye?
The light comes as grains, and then as waves

You appear first as a bird, and then as the universe
You were always by my side
On that day when all that our smiles would have joined
Was connected in one harmony

I always wanted to be beside you
But no matter how I voiced my longing
It could not reach you
Azure, blue, blue journey

Neither offensive nor defensive,
These moderate feelings
That are somewhere right in between despair and hope...
The future is first feather-light, and then is lead

I appear to be water, and then I am flame
You were always by my side
Nearer than even love
On that day when everything was once warmth...

I wanted to be with you
But I was so far from you
That I couldn't even hear your music
a sad, sad, lonely travel...

ダイヤモンドのクレバス

神様に恋をしてた頃は こんな別れが来るとは思ってなかったよ もう二度と触れられないなら せめて最後に　もう一度抱きしめて欲しかったよ It's a long long good-bye... 

さよなら　さよなら　何度だって 自分に　無上に　言い聞かせて 手を振るのは優しさだよね？ 今　強さが欲しい 貴方に出会い　STAR輝いて　アタシが生まれて 愛すればこそ　iあればこそ 希望のない　

奇跡を待って　どうなるの？ 涙に滲む　惑星の瞬きは　gone... 忘れない　貴方の温もりも その優しさも　全て包んでくれた両手も さよなら　さよなら　愛しい人 貴方が　いたから　歩いてこれた ひとりなんかじゃなかったよね？ 今　答えが欲しい 燃える様な流星　捕まえて　火を灯して 愛していたい　愛されてたい 冷えたカラダひとつで　世界は　どうなるの？ 張り続けてた　虚勢が溶けてく　long for... どうしてなの？　涙溢れて　止められない もし生まれ変わって　また巡り会えるなら その時もきっと　アタシを見つけ出して もう二度と離さないで　捕まえてて ひとりじゃないと　囁いてほしい　planet...