Friday, December 20, 2024

Timeless Love

Surviving each single day without you
Is so heartbreaking, a painful view
If I was the one that could make it work
Our love would be endless, I would smirk

Bring me back into your life
My wishful thinking as I strive
I keep seeing your face everywhere
Your voice your touch, I need you here

I feel that we have loved each other before
Like I've known you for so long to the core
Lifetimes after lifetimes I believe we've met
And share a lot, that it caught up to us to the present

This kind of love feels like a mission
I cannot find myself loosing this connection
Each single day your always on my mind
I try to look for you everywhere, I cannot find

Reminiscing on our memories together
The photos of us showing the best in all weathers
But then our hearts got hurt and bleed
My forever forever is hanging on a thread




Wednesday, December 18, 2024

Grief & Sorrow

A silent weep a lingering moment 
Mere thoughts of you and atonement
Words express not, my feelings right now
Resentment and hate, but how?

My soul is screaming hurting in pain
Cries that falls down together with the rain
I scream out loud only in my brain
Suffering so much I cannot explain

For maybe I've lost a part of me
A vital piece which I gave so freely
The imporantance of it she did not see
Time and Loyalty is too expensive to thee

I regret that I've loved so much
It ate me alive and got crushed 
The days spent and memories together
Was washed and thrown away like it didnt matter

And now waiting as it hunts my soul
Physically and mentally it took its toll
Death has claimed me and now I fall
Burying my oldself and will never recall

Thursday, December 12, 2024

Disintegration

Tears rush down each time I feel an ache
As to the person that I knew was nothing but a fake
I often find my self breaking down
Loosing emotional control is bound

My soul is screaming of the pain that you brought
A loud cry so silent, could only be heard in your thoughts
Like an butcher knife that can cut your flesh and bones
So agonizing and excruciating that you need to own

I prayed to God to take this pain away
As to its killing me inside out in both ways
The mental struggles that I need to endure
Forgeting it all, because my love was pure

The broken promises and inconsistency
Left me hanging and floating on this tears of sea
Crying my heart out to release it all
Bringing my self back each time I fall

Shaking, shivering, wondering and consoling oneself
Alone in my room trembling is all I felt
Consumed by fears resentment and anxiety
Guess this is all for me to take to see clarity

Thursday, December 5, 2024

Breach of Faith

The day you showed me your betrayal
Is the time that strayed me away from you, a portrayal
The agony which I was not able to process
The hate that accumulated, all feelings into ashes

I was still trying and hoping going sober
But alas you showed me your true color
The innocences in your face that deceived me
The thought of you not doing things that was previously done onto me

The torture and un explainable pain I endured
The view of it burns my eyes wishing I was blind
I was so dumb founded by your smile
That it never crossed my mind that you would be that kind

I was losing my patience, and holding it in
The inner strength that I took from the beginning
To keep myself at bay was so straining
I cannot keep up with this pace of shaming

All I wanted was to explode in anger
And go outrage to everything, be the danger
Wasting all that hinders that has no say
Crashing everything that stands in my way

I was so consumed by this element
It was not so me as I intended
The peace in my head was washed out
The calm and collected goes out loud

As this path where it leads me through
A place that I must pursue
A distant location to reflect
The nirvana to make the life back in effect

Tuesday, December 3, 2024

Lost of Lost

A version of me which I try to hide
Was triggered and put out in sight
The beast that I was holding in
Was freed by the person I trusted with it.

The tolerance and chances that I gave
The goodness in every thing I save
The hope of change that I always crave
The you I dreamed to be so brave
 
I can now only see the damage done
The devistation of my self as one
I lost my peace with in me
I was at war with my self litterally
 
I never thought that it would be like this
Emotionaly draining and so de evaluating
The nonsense and drama
The accusation and karma
 
I thought I found the love that I sought 
I thought it was true that I fought
But alas this was not real
But my feelings was so profound in this deal
 
I hate what I've become
As to anger and hate I succumed  
I lost my way in the light
I wondered into the darkeness and take flight