Year End of Regrets

This year was not what I expected it to be
A dozens of unwanted memories is all that I can see
Christmas was supposed to be a jolly day
But it reminds me of the truth, I learned on that day.

A certain number in a month which I always remember
The only thing that reminds me of my slumber
I wanna remove that past memory of mine
So that I can never feel the pain that was so divine!

Thou I tried to forget everything
Places, events, things even names! It keeps on hunting
I just wanted to stop knowing what I had
Stop feeling the pain that sucks so bad…

Well it’s really a bummer to fall out of love
Where you just can’t take the pain, and all of the above
Even thou you love that person so much
It really comes to an end when the pain is too much…

Resolutions of Conflictions

The coming year is my first day view
Where I need to focus with all of the cues
A year where I start fresh
And what I really needed to fix all this mess.

I leave what I gained and learn from what I lost
To begin new memories of life with lesser cost
Maxing out what was left behind
Things I had forgotten, that is still on my mind.

Completing my basic needs
Securing a more cautious seeds
So that it could grow wiser
Than what the bearer couldn’t achieve.

Thou I still dream of yesterdays
Re-living what I had before and come what may
I would give anything to experience that again
But no… I should be more stronger to release this pain.

A noble thing to do is to carry on
Even if the burden is too heavy, life goes on
We cannot change whatever we’ve done in the past
What matter is that we learn from that mistakes and make sure it would be the last.

A Call for Change

I leave when I know that I must
To seek more in life, in which I trust
It’s not the end but a beginning
In which you’ll understand more, if you get my meaning.

Set off and find greener pastures
Opportunities that comes in various gestures
Go on and never look back
For it might just hold you back.

Move towards a certain goal
Then all the rest will just roll
It’s like a dice which bounces with uncertainty
Falls flat to give you your destiny.

Imagine if you would just do nothing
Will you expect anything?
It would take a miracle, but miracles happen when u act
Guess not, and that’s a fact.

Life may not be fair for all
But at least we need to struggle or else we fall
I already know my calling
A stretch that I must do alone to stop me from falling.

Please Heart Stop

A moment ago I felt that I can’t breath
Seeing again the things that I hide underneath
Memories I wish to disappear
Pictures frozen in time… slowly reappears.

I told myself, never ever look at those again
For it only brings agony as each photo reminisce on pain…
Still my curious heart keeps on and on
That I can’t refrain, even if I’m in frown.

I should stop lingering in the past
So that I can concentrate on things that last…
I gave my all to work things out…
That’s what I did, but I guess it didn’t work out.

Why am I still thinking of things like this?
Am I prolonging my sufferings as I fall from the abyss?
I don’t want to hold any grudges as much as possible
I just want to stop loving you! But I’m not able…

I should be happy that I’m out already
Still a part of me is struggling, very unsteady
If only I didn’t have to love that much
Then maybe.., I wouldn’t be this crushed…

Return to Default

Here I am with a broken wing
A broken heart that cannot sing
I felt that I have died, loosing the life in me
That I don’t want to feel anything in this degree

I try to make myself enjoy, so that I won’t be crappy
But I want a day to go by, not pretending that I’m happy
I can be with friends and have so much fun
Up to the extent of being too drunk that I can’t even run.

I tried messing up my life, doing all stupid things
Like fall from a tree, and got bruises from a fight
Still I didn’t found comfort in all of that
Even thou if I scream so loud, that it hurts so bad!

As I realize that I’m trying to divert my pain
I saw myself suffered even more, instead of what I could have gained
Now I use this pain as a source of strength to go on
I think it help me a bit and found a reason to move on…

So now I’m turning myself back to the old me
Where I set my thoughts back from where I want it to be
A preset that makes me feel brand new
In exchange of the past that was so anew.