Perseverance of Hate

Till the day that I have over come what I feel inside
That will be the day I triumph against the helplessness I’m in
I’m, not that strong in changes that might occur
I’m still waiting for the right time to make it someday

I try to prove that I can live without you
As I release the ache I kept for so long
My self I feel brand new when I have forgotten
The feeling I had for you once before…

You change my heart to a cold frozen icicle
I won’t be the same person that you knew
May be I’ll be more tougher and stronger
That my feelings for you will disappear faster

Pieces of Me

As I see the sun rises outside my window
A new day starts for me, but still I’m hollow
The very reason that I exist before is gone
With all the memories stops to begun…

Was this really to happen? I ask myself
Did I not make moves to counter and assert oneself?
The efforts I made was all in vain
Now here I am crushed and living in pain…

To this degree that has took its toll on me
I lost everything in just a blink of an eye…
The very most important part of me died
Broke down every single piece and can’t stop to cry

Why is this had to happen? When all I did is to love?
Was my love not enough that you found someone else?
Is the love you said, all these time was not true?
Did the years we shared…are just mere feelings?

I got a lot of thing right now
And I cannot carry on with our vows
So now as I let go…
I found somebody new to make me whole…

RDDAMR

You’re the first person that comes in to my mind
That I can’t seem to forget
I love to see you everyday, and see your smiles
You make me forget my worries and fears

I never thought that you were always there
That before we are just like strangers
I was trying to keep myself in a box
But you reach out to me and help me out

I was not aware that the days we spent…
I would fall for you, and loved you
I haven’t proven anything yet, but still…
I’ll be here for you, if you need me

My life has a meaning, now that I found you
That I was not so sure of the days ahead before…
If I swore my loyalty to you, will you keep it?
If I’ll be your lover, will you be my lifetime partner?

These are the things that run into my mind
And you’re on the very least of it all
You have become my priority one
The most valuable person to me, next to my self…

Ache of a Million Heart Break

When the days was as good as it could get
That it seems to never stop
And all the things you cannot forget
Then all of a sudden, it all disappears and drops…

A reality that I’m experiencing
To which I wasn’t prepared to face
And the pieces of me scattered and here I am drowning
In this pain that I am dwelling… losing my base…

To this moment I still can’t believe
The turn of events that went and the decision made
I feel like I was abandoned and betrayed
That my worth was nothing to the years I encountered

Now in despair that swallowed me
That I cannot break free
Trying to live like nothing has happened
And acting like a clown to rid of this decree

You’ll never feel the exact emotion I’m having
And all the dreams that has been broken
They still linger in my head and wondering
Is this the way love ends to start a new? Still… unspoken…

Meaningless

As I continue the travel in life
I ask my self, are you still all right?
When love is gone and I’m still holding on
Was I to blame or should I start to frown?

Expectations seem not so good anymore
That it’s really nothing to me, unlike before
I think I’m changing. But I don’t want to
For if I change, I’ll be somebody new…

I know that I’m really hurting inside
Everyday I endure to stay in this fight
When will I find my happiness?
When will this ache disappear? I’m so stressed

Life without you I can’t imagine
But still you’re pushing me to this point I’m in…
You can’t blame me if sometimes I just want to die
Because the pain each day, really kills me inside…

You said you love me, but what are you still doing?
You said that I’m the only one and still nothing…
I don’t want to live like this, do you want me to like this?
If one day comes that I have already died… don’t tell me I didn’t warn you…

The New Start

New Year has started and new events had happened
The person that has been always on top has fallen down
The trust has been broken…
A lot of hurt cause too much pain to complicate

Is the New Year a new beginning of a new chapter?
Guess I will never know…
Will this be fruitful or becomes more worst than it is?
Hopefully things will go as planned…

I’m not gonna hope too much because I did that already
And it was not good... disappointments, etc, etc…
It was the most painful thing ever
That it cannot be compared to anything I had experienced

A new life maybe awaits me now… that it still lingers
That the defeat I had, left a scar and can never be removed
And the actions that took place will never be change
With all this happened so fast you cannot react

It will be a year full of pain
And I’m already preparing myself for the worst
That it will be the part where all that started
Will come to its end….

The Exchange

Now as I try to hold on in what is left
I traded position with the man I have hated
The owner becomes the renter for short
This is a big mockery for me, but in the name of love I will sacrifice

This will be the first time I will play this part
But as long as I still hold dearly what I have left
That will be my remaining strength to go on
And pursue the last remaining dreams I have in me…

This will be difficult, but for the one I love…. I will
May be this is how I should repay the mistakes I done before
And the problems I cause has catching up on me
The karma I guess is now on it’s toll

The anxiety has disappeared a bit… or maybe I’ve gotten use to it already
The paranoia still lingers but not that much anymore
I maybe becoming numb now because I can’t feel pain anymore
That I was crushed so hard that I can tolerate it.

Will this change someday?... hopefully maybe…
For now I must do my best to fix my life and worry less about anything
And plan my next move, this will be a long term goal
But as long as it takes me to where she is that’s the least of my concern!

Betrayed and Lied

In this state of mind I’m in.
I think I can already kill
I don’t care anymore of the results
As long as I kill this person

I don’t mind going to jail
And be imprisoned for life
Nor be sentence to death as well
As long as I kill this person

I never felt this pain in my life
So the only thing that can release me from this
Is I have killed that person that cause this in me
I can never forgive this act

Even you in my place would feel the same way
This is now my vendetta
As to my life I have no more care
To kill is my only option now

Hatred and anger is what I have
That makes me stronger day by day
As I hold this anxiety someday you would feel
Death and pain, all in one I will lay upon you!