Torn Inside of Me

A life that I once loved is already gone
Guess… I really haven’t move on…
I can never forget everything
Even thou I knew it has lost it's meaning.

Now I live my life as carefree as I wanna be
To which things doesn’t matter, that’s what I see
I portrait life in a much more different way
Than before… I gave my all and life just to be played.

Of all the persons that I have trusted so much
Of all the things I have shared that are unmatched
Of all the loved I gave and everything I could find
“Why…” is still the question that lingers on my mind…

As I try helping myself to recover
I see myself helping someone else and that I discover
That love never stops on loving
Even if the pain is too great to keep on going…

I know I’m still hurting…
Still I need to be strong to take this beating
A struggle inside of me to which I try to hide
A face I make to replace my broken pride.

Will that day of renewal ever come?
That I will be free from this pain that I can’t overcome?
Shall I find the love that I have lost?
Will she be fine even if our paths never cross?

I can’t stop and think about how she is…
That it hurts even more to love her after all of this…
For my heart still belongs to her…
Even if it’s so broken that every ache seems forever…